Sunday, May 16, 2004
It’s Sunday already, and its dawn, and I can’t close my eyes, cause I am not sleepy yet…so I went here, and wrote these lines…this things are addictive, now, I just got to tell u, that’s why…how privacy is so expensive these days, even when u got one u sell them away, wannabe famous? Don’t know anyway.
Since I have chosen to be this way, leaving, sensing the way of just being me, not curious to stuffs that made me even worse, stuffs which possibly lead me to my nervous breakdown and may be suicide, though I am such a thoughtful guy and I am thinking about it all the time, thinking how its just damn hard to enjoy the feeling of being you, how actually the company of people really preserve ur sanity. Yet, there is time, thank God, when u just need a priority, and things will break u apart, things that set u apart from ur beloved ones, and places, distances, importance will put u and them distance away, u would have to ask me how that feels while weeks ago they are the acquaintances of ur solitude, and now u don’t even try to guess what they are up to. And life is a matter of adaptation. U just have to let it go, and stop being curious, they got stuffs that just doesn’t fit to ur broken soul, cause u kept comparing it, and in the end there is only one answer that will let u down, go deep down, straight 2 ur sickness. And it’s just sick, u tell me. It’s just too sick.
Exhibit B, that’s me, one that cant stand on his own feet and needing the caring and support of other to make him sense and realizing his full sanity.
Remember the titans is not so bad anyway, for a broken hearted guy, whom previously was like watching someone like you soap opera episode, how love is just around the corner, finding the right person who is there…just there, hugging you, supporting you, when u r such a mess, and cant tell whether things r right or wrong. Will this is how nights gonna be my company and let me share the stories to one that cant even respon?
God, I need a hand with my life.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:50 AM [comment]
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