Wednesday, September 29, 2004
which one goes first? the good guy or the bad guy? does a quality of a person justifies whethere God loves him or her the most compared to other? do people who get to go first are those who are dearly loved by God? my mother died when she was very young, that we lost lots of memories of her.our journey to the grown up world will be completed without her presence.and like rocks, we might grow that way. maybe its naive enough to consider everything that way. if there is what one called as a mystery of life, then when a young mother died with the baby within her womb and they both died that is also a mystery of life. will one ever figure it out the answer to the mystery of life? will one ever consciused enough to meet the divine power and eventually ask that mystery of life? suppose that when its our time we will forget to ask that. suppose that it is not necessary anymore to ask that when we die, cause if one ever aware of that status and then ask, that is also a mystery of life. where do the young mother and her baby gone? do they went happily? and does the young father they left behind will ever understand what happens to the mystery of life he's facing?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:35 PM [comment]
***
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
why is there anyone who always feel jealous of what you are doing, and why is there anyone who always bother people and bug them? why is there anyone who always wonder what someone's been doing lately? why is there anyone who always feel unsatisfied with what he/she has achieved? why is there anyone who makes people cry? why is there anyone who considers them lot cooler than other? why is there anyone who thinks that he/ she is better than other? why is there any people who always want to compete with other? why is there anyone who cannot laugh for what you've been achieving?
[frequently asked questions for the day]
its hard to say good bye. and i am one of the person who cannot and hate to say so. i'd rather leave something for the people, so that they can remember a piece of me. but not the worst part of my history. may be it's man's pride that i have. may be i am too ambitious than other. maybe i am super duper unstoppable and the most active. now that you're a man and on the age and the edge of 20 going older, then there is a burden, questions, and new responsibilities. question : can you live with what you're doing. of course i can. time won't repeat so that one day i can achieve what i cannot in the past. the so called regret always comes in the end. and i dont want to regret. though actually, many child in me screams for the sustaining status of their spirit. i cannot be a kid forever. gotta step ahead. yet, there is a saying : you can only survive the life with kid inside of you. so how and when i can grow older and mesmerizing the fact that now i am shaving?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:59 PM [comment]
***
Monday, September 27, 2004
the beginning of the week is going to be hard. many things to do. am i too ambitious? everyone can be ambitious right? there are many things in this life you cannot get just by sitting down on your eyes and keep dreaming that you will have it one day. you have to FIGHT. there are things we called effort. and effort does not consist of one-two days hard work i suppose. which is true. even the founder of electricity must blew many lamps (?) and that gravity founder must sit uselessly in front of that lame apple tree (but it is not lame anymore). i am not afraid being called ambitious. but i am afraid when people doubt me for what i am doing. and feeling doubt whether i can do it or not. actually it is simple, its my last year here, and i want to leave something. my love for my department is timeless.you cannot explain it. well, some people can. i know that years ahead are my time to move on. doing the real deal. well, everyday is the real deal for me.but there are things you just have to do while you can, right. cross my fingers here...prepare for
shounji, and (anyway) you may scream later.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:41 PM [comment]
***
Sunday, September 26, 2004
been wondering, again, how the future will gonna be for a stanley osmond. having this name would be such a great task. its hard cause your not born that way. but the world always welcomes a new citizen on earth, which respectfully appreciating the life with all of its grandeur sites, isn't it? and i am one of those people. who walks grandeurly on the board walk, each phase of life, possitively believing to the thing called love, and amazingly naive.i always believe that good things will come. sincerely, i can not being so cynical. a friend of mine is. may be that's because she lives in the states and forgot how it feels to be an indonesian. strangely, she still loves eating at some small food vendor. home sweet home huh? cause you wont get cheap stuff on the lane of the USA darling. anyway, back again to the future thing. latelty i am grumping about my age.well, i am not afraid of becoming 36...but, when you are 22 and you dont know what to do with your life is a disaster. its like you have a good book, and you dont even know how to open the first page, you just know that the cover is nice. damn. how many of you are wondering how the future will be for you out there? are you wondering the same thing? cause actually i dont really wonder. i just want to walk on it, each day, without having to wonder what its gonna be. just wak it. just be there each day. doing good talkings, good friendships, good coffees, good sex, and the rest give it to the God. He knows what to do with your life. am i being pessimist and stupid? oh my God, am i bragging? i am not a frag queen am i? or am i going to be one when i brag like this? Carrie Bradshaw help me!!!
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:51 PM [comment]
***
Saturday, September 25, 2004
she may be not one of my idol, but the story of her short life sure captured my mind. i remembered that months ago i saw her very frequently on Tv. whether that was an announcer for some gossips on TV or playing a silly bald headed young woman in one TV soap.i reckoned her leaving just some hours ago.i was hoping that she would get better each day, but i suppose the prayers are not enough. and its her time.kinda sad to let go someone right? even if you dont know them. the feeling of losing someone is always hard. the doctor informed that she suffered a heart attack and also failure on the function of her inner organs. she's been in a coma for five months, her life pulse must have gone weaker each day. if u have watched talk to her, then her situation was just the same.the differences are this one does not make it to wake up, while the other case was a triumph for that young lady although she has to start practice dancing from the beginning-again.life is not a soap opera. and her mother has to say that word. the word one would never want to say.good bye.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 11:31 PM [comment]
***
okay, the connection was down that i must left the place for couple hours and eventually decided to have my nap. since the day was a bit perfect and not so perfect afterall.i made such a long posting couple of hours ago, and sort of not in the mood to repeat what did i write that time.that damn connection.so lame that i had to watch Jason X here, and instead of leaving (it turned out that i was the only one left in there enjoying my time watching some lame movies.everybody was gone cause the connection,again, went down). okay. the point was (this is a repetition of what i wrote some hours ago),i was having a small discussion with renny on my independent horror movie, shounji. its my first. so i am a bit excited and overwhelmed with the feeling. from what we had in the canteen it seems that i have to prepare a wholeloads of stuffs. when i think of the movie itself, which is only about 20 minutes or so, then i could not imagine Peter Jackson's crew. those eight years.come on.well,everything needs work hard. anyway, this weekend i also decided to have times for myself enjoying things that i happen to meet on my way, to...everywhere.this morning i visited the so cool motorolla bus. which is purple and so sweet. the other day i dreamed of a bus that makes me always wanted to stay inside, and motorolla has that kinda bus.what's more is that they have usher's yeah inside.not enough? they have those cool screens, small but sufficient. ahhh.suddenly i remember of Justin's tour bus.everything you can get from a tour bus.anyway, my movie will be entitled shounji.it sounds so oriental, so japan huh? i did not know why i chose that name anyway, its just the length and the word sounds so right that i have no other titles in my mind. i just knew it, that the title should be that one.well, i did a research the other day on that word.surprisingly, shounji means or at least related to the sense of great death.a perfect sphere for a horror movie.i dont really know whether it was right. but i definitely will use it.anyway,i planned to meet my crew and my cast on monday.hopefully this will be great.cause, again, this is my first time.fingers crossed.script prepared.need to contact people tolet them know that i want to borrow their cars, their house, their room, probably their clothes for the shooting.anyway, meet Jessica...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:06 PM [comment]
***
Friday, September 24, 2004
::: fashion focus :::
this one was the left over from last summer's fashion in Japan. i think that it is sort of conservative, but surely this is one signature that will never die. the definition of edgy, and cool collabo between truckers, tees, and timeless converse are here. moreover, this cute girl fits all the image of that street wonderer during a hot summer.and of course a water melon at the end of the day is a perfect ending. anyway, its fall, so dont take this style home.i will come back with a must see autumn suits for you. well, since we live in this 2 season only country, then this one will always fit your cute butt. and head.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:15 PM [comment]
***
hari ini agak istimewa. emang sedikit cerita. tapi banyak kecemasan. terlebih migrain yang selalu memenuhi kepala ini. kayak badai, semua yang emang sedang intens kepikiran akhirnya berkumpul. beberapa keputusan krusial harus dibuat, meskin dengan banyak pertimbangan dan tentunya kehilangan yang menjadi result tak tersangkalkan, tapi ya sudahlah. ngga lama lagi semuanya bisa normal. satu lagi adalah cinta, kayak iklan HSBC tadi ketemu sama temennya gadis manis yang ku lirik.duhh, ngga tahan harus jatuh cinta lagi. kayaknya sih jatuh cinta. udah coba dipastiin apakah ini cinta. dan sejujurnya agak capek untuk memulai nya lagi. karena selama 3 tahun lebih aku hanya orang yang gagal. tapi siapa tahu nasib sekarang berkata lain ya.amin.dan hari ini produserku mengirim e-mail yang isinya permintaan maaf dan mencari gatot kaca . cukup mengejutkan karena tiba-tiba cerita Gerin ini sampai di depan mata, dan akan kutulis.ngga tahu harus senang apa sedih apa gimana. its way too complicated to tell.ya mudah-mudahan semua lancar aja. dan seperti biasa aku emang harus kerja keras. kalo dihitung-hitung banyak juga agenda yang harus diselesaikan.tarik napas!!! kerja keras!!!
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:59 PM [comment]
***
Thursday, September 23, 2004
what can i say.i failed.i could not stand not to eat. and i know i had to eat.sorry.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:01 PM [comment]
***
what can i say.i failed. i could not stand it.i had to eat. i know i had to.sorry.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:52 PM [comment]
***
in the middle of the fasting , the evil comes and i am hungry...ngga biasa puasa boww...duhhh
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:17 AM [comment]
***
judulnya,kakak gw ulang tahun. tapi entah kenapa akhirnya ujung-ujungnya gw, kakak gw itu, dan betty pada puasa dengan masing-masing punya niatan. yang analisis skripsinya jalan lah, yang cepat lulus juga lah, dan shooting gw lancar (penting!). dan sekarang jam 3pagi lebihnya banyak gw baru abis nyaur dari burjo langganan gw. ngga tahu, niat banget ngejaleninnya. sekalian sih, gw juga rada males tidur tadinya, walhasil kehidupan on line jaman subuh gw reguk lagi (wah istilahnya parno banget...hehehe).itung-itung duit cukuplah,lagian besok kan bukanya ditraktir kakak gw itu makan bo. ama si betty juga...duh penting bangitu gitu makan bertiga. saat tulisan ini diturunkan si betty lagi masak mi, mudah-mudahan beneran jadi itu mie dan bisa dimakan, kalo ngga nyaurnya sia-sia. gw sndiri makannya mie juga, tambah gorengan 2 dan es teh. mudah2an ngga sakit perut. huahhhhmmm, gw jadinya ngantuk jo...udahan aja kali ya, soalnya ripway ngga mau up load lagunya the corrs yang lagi gw cinta banget neeehhh...liriknya udah gw masukin, filenya belon jadi lo pade belon bisa dengerin tuh lagu keren abis. duhh andrea tarikan lo bikin gw napsu aja ama ni cewek. ngga ada matinya. soal bikin lagu enak the corrs deh. ketemu ama mandarindesign.com yang paten, panduan buat lo yang ngeblog, biar blog lo cihuy. ngebrowse friendster ampe subuh kayaknya, ngeliat profile2 yang unik, yang cakep, siapa tahu jo!!..hehehe...btw, kata temen gw friendster bakal bayar,maksudnya apa tuh...duhh, kalo udah asik gini terus bayar kan ga lucu banget jo...anyway, the corrs ampe mati,nyesel lo ngga pernah denger band ciamik satu ini...kayak pas mau boker, terus the ultimate shitnya belom nongol...hgehehehehe...jijay.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 3:40 AM [comment]
***
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
...beware of backstabber
and sweet mouth-ed evil...have it
have a vengeance
a sweet one...
this afternoon i met another friend who met such bastard in their life. its tentative, a bastard for her not really a bastard for me, since there are several types of bastard. well, who wants a bastard in their life? as the life itself is already a bastard. enough is enough right? cant wait till i make his mouth opens and unable to fogure out what am i doing to have such a sweet vengeance. it will be so sweet, just wait...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:46 PM [comment]
***
beware of backstabber. they talk behind you. hurt your feeling, and after all those things you share with them they backstab you. they look and seem so sweet. they walk holding your hands and smile when you get the chance to share them a smile. beware of backstabber. they look so kind but they are evil. what kind of friend is a backstabber. they are not a friend. they are just average looking people who were born to envy each thing that you do. they envy because you will soon be busy with your so called cool life (which you think that it is not that cool anyway, they are just jealous and do not know what to do beside being jealous). they nevy because you are bragging about something big (may be) and they brag about their pathetic dumbstruck love life. you have that dumbstruck love life, but you dont brag-as much as they do. beware of backstabber, they envy that you are so cool, while they dont. beware of backstabber they are your pain in the ass, their so called life is not as less as ordinary as yours, but somehow they always envy. maybe thats how backstabber appears. they come out from the dark, being jealous, and brag about it. dont brag. feel small. afterall, each one of us has their own path and you are enjoying what you have. dont brag.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:24 PM [comment]
***
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
i feel awkward. its a long waiting. and i am dumbstruck. feeling useless. whats the time of the year?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:13 PM [comment]
***
Monday, September 20, 2004
i feel dumb. not doing anything makes me feel dumb. actually, i have my thesis to work on, but again...the thesis looks dumb that i wont touch it. i feel dumb cause i dont know what i want. actually i know what i want. i want my ass move,doing something that will change my world superficially.doing something really important so that i can make a difference not only for my world, but for the world out side. make anyone enjoying the summer like i do. feeling the fall like i do. is there anything world can do to quench me i am asking. may be i am toopoetic at the time. should i ask myself to go abroad and joining angelina jolie to work for the UN? wish i can hear a real life bomb not far from me, may be thats how i feel likely to feel so alive. i have been waiting too long for an answer. and its not coming yet.i still cant see it on the way. its been days, weeks.i try to fall in love. yet,will love quench me? after all, i must say to myself: is this what i really want? if love really works to save your world, will you feel flat? will you feel satisfied? i know one thing that i'll die another day. i keep telling myself that big plans are on my way. i am listening to Karen Carpenter's cant smile without you now...its draining my heart. i am one who believes in love and dying to wait the love to come. but i guess the waiting's been too long. Carpenter's songs always drain my heart. Karen's voice is like a machine that takes your senses away to the past. too bad that she's dead tragically.many of world's hits were made by Carpenter. you never know how you'll die right? i dont want diamond rings. i just want to knpw what's tomorrow looks like for me. i want to fight now!!
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:49 PM [comment]
***
Sunday, September 19, 2004
its been a dreadful week maybe, but it was not either. everything was sort of messed up.i got sick for days and could not really firgure out what was actually happening. yet again, i could only enjoy the moment. if i were a well known artist would my life be much happier? i dont know. but one thing for sure, i dont love my room-yet. something missing there. the feng shuei just not fit, yet. and i am still losing my 12 hours sleep time. did not sleep soooo well for 2 days. the bed is calling me, yet i am here. count how many 'yet' i used already. yeah, its an obscure week-yet, i am trying to love and to appreciate it. afterall, i was the man of the event.hehe.its not so big for me anyway. i am kinda sad for the situation. i feel likei am losing something and that my time is running out. dont know why. the feeling is so strong. or actually i am wrong?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:43 PM [comment]
***
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
dear Elizabeth Manuella Musu...
hello little sister, sweet creature, beloved part of mother nature...all of us are waiting for you.time is ticking and all people are wondering if that tiny bit of explosions will soon be pulled out by the doc.we read that it is too risky for you,since it will cause major bleeding. no need to worry about it, take your rest, God will do miracles for you.do you believe in miracle? we believe you do. its like the sweetest cotton candy. and miracles will happen upon you. take the rest, and stay strong, cause all of us here are sending our prayers, hopes, whises to the bluest midnight sky,passing through heaven, right through the ears of our divine creator; to let you know that we want you back. we want you between us, delivering the most tender smile from a sweet huggable child like you.we love to see that curly hair of yours shines under the sun,your little feet walking on the beach, and your little finger touches the face of mother nature.you might not hear us, cause you're sleeping, but we believe, you will open your eyes.we know that at the moment you're weak, and still struggling but we see a strength inside that lovely heart.you might wonder who are those people? its continents away. dear manny, we are just like you,the people who still believes that love is the essence of living. Manny, millions love are delivered to you at this moment so that you get better soon. we believe that. that's the best thing these unknown people can do for you now. we leave the rest to the docs, and of course our dear God who always stays next to your bed. so that you will never feel lonely. just like us, the God has millions love for you.on the day you wake up, you might not see mommy anymore. but you have us.as what we have said,millions of love are dedicated to you. hopefully you can feel it by now, in your body, your mind, your soul. strengthening you within your fight.we know that it might be a bit dark there by now. you might not hear a sound, seeing anyone you know.we know that its torturing to talk on your own, without any company. but remember, miracles will happen upon you. those sprinkling dust of magic will wait for the right time to wake you up. it might take times. but when you open your eyes, we promise that we will be there, among all the lights and brights of the world.to welcome you back. the dark will depart, the silence will vanish, colorful baloons,pigeons, green trees, flowers and butterflies will come.of course, we will come.our eyes were filled with tears, and our hearts jumped in anger to know that such thing could happen to you. those tears are still running down our cheeks and chins.our hands would love to reach you.that day,everything changed and nothing would stay the same.fear, pain are left. may be that's a chapter of our book of life, and there's nothing we can do to change that.we just want you back, between us, so stay strong in there and fight. we know you can, cause miracles will happen to you.remember,when you wake up. the world will be so much brighter.
we love you.
-we who love you dearly-
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:36 AM [comment]
***
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
i went to
dekat rumah and met with some old friends from the radio i was working sometimes ago. imet with nino and ria. i thought i never can contact them again, since i left that place. coincidently wayan, ardi are actually nino and ria's friends too. what a small world. kinda missing the moment when i broadcast my voice around the city sometimes ago.people started to know me, kinda well known and there was this gossip frenzy about me. kinda boasting though, but i loved the frenzy. at least they know me, not that i am trying to brag anything. radio was everything to me. it was. and up to now, i am still wondering will i ever have the chance to cast myself in the wadyabala lines. a friend once said,though you left, you are still a wadyabala (that is how Prambors network called their announcers). being wadyabala was a heck of a way of calling to a person. it might be everything. but then again, i have the chores to do either in campus. i cannot leave that place just like that.i still remember how i rushed to the studio each day i have my schedule to host my show. kinda proud, cause that show was mine sometimes ago. that show belongs to me, and i was the image for that show. some said its the best radio program in jogja during 10 to 1 am in the morning. thats why they call it one double o one show...10pm to 01 am. it was tiring but i got loads of knowledge, entertainment, and joy there. i always know, and fully realize that i belong there, in the studio. there's always a part of me that wants me to comeback there.and it comes to the point when i have to put my priorities. saying goodbye is sickening, thats what i told u the other day. its sickening. cause its been a while and it left me the memories for good. miss you all there sweet buddies.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:08 PM [comment]
***
they said that i am in the middle of a journey to find my God. and that i must not set th divine power apart in my daily chorus. have i ever set him apart? have i forgoten to ask for the guidance, protection. have i been so selfish with my life that i forgot the divine power and let my life be ruled by another power so selfishly turning myself into someone who is not happy? have all my emptiness caused by my selfish deed of my life. have i been so provoked by my passion, life's enema, material frenzy, that i forget the real deal i should be reaching to? have all my unhappiness were the outcome of my foolishness, selfishness.
they said that its good for me to know what actually happens inside of me. yet, does it really help? since i can only witness and feel it. its the missing link Darwin never found. its the top that babel never reached. its my earth that will never ever have snow. its the last puzzle you will never found. i know what happens inside of me. i know that it drains me. bit by bit. i am so restless. its the moon that turns blue. and the sky turns velvet.
if everyone might notice a reddish noon, then i would be very aware that i see crimson paints it...my life is restless. and i am in the middle of that journey. they said it. and i am occupied by it. its a chapter, there are pages.and on which page am I.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:18 AM [comment]
***
Monday, September 13, 2004
its official, its here. the seventh Bond is on his first deal. remember the vilain in Mission Impossible 2, that super cool guy who fought Cruise on his bike? yep, he is the next bond. and he might be the only Bond who ever took the role of bad guys, compared to any previous Bond. his name is Dougray Scott. he has that english lad's pose and cut, yet Jason Isaacs is a part of his smile (and Jason Isaacs is also an english actor. do all english actors plunged into Hollywood bussiness by becoming villain at the beginning? ). all of the oldies Bond tend to be so so good guys all the time, since their face did not match those images (may be). Dougray in someways is similar to Isaacs. they smell fishy. anyway, Dougray also appears in Whale Rider, and Terminator 3 (but i didnt quite catch his role there. since i have not watch whale rider and i dispise T3-though not that much as the movie was lame, and has a worst and silly ending). since the role eventually is in his hand meaning that farewell to Eric Bana, Heath Leadger, Orlando Bloom or any other actors who manage to continue to legacy of Bond in the movie. proudly saying, its timeless character. one would not really care how Bond generations really takes place one after another. cause each Bond turns old right? there must be a link to explain where does the old Bond go? holiday? ended tenure? second honeymoon with miss money poney (note that money poney also changes in several movies). do you actually aware that Bond is a code name (beside that we identify him as 007)? anyone can have that code name, that's why Bond has legacy. and now it's the seventh, with 22nd franchise. woops. thats big. well, this is Dougray Scott. seems familar?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:23 PM [comment]
***
saying farewell might be the saddest thing one consider doing. especially if one has connected and soul-ly inseparable with the departed side. if one can, one might do not want to say farewell. unnecessary good bye is sickening, especially when it comes to the reason of old time foolishness. but karma is unavoidable. one thing, God gives and God takes away. maybe that's how one can accept to say farewell full heartedly. hoepfully onw can request and achieve salvation so that on the next level of life one would encounter unification with the departed one. ah...it's sickening. remember: God gives and God takes away. but it's not karma, it's a lesson. and there will come a day for sure. but for this moment, just this minutes, and not for long, till we meet again...farewell...well, if I ain't got you (alicia keys)...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:12 PM [comment]
***
Sunday, September 12, 2004
i love tom hanks and meg ryan. no one will ever doubt their chemistry in each movies they were in. well, they were not always in the same frame, but every time they got together they just knew it how to make people believe that they actually are in love. sleepless in seattle, you've got mail, was it all the movies they were in? when harry met sally was billy crystal, when a man loves a woman was andy garcia, i am blank. since my saturday was kinda suck i decided that i did not want to make my pre sleeping minutes turn to be idiotic too. so i went to watch you've got mail for the 4th times (i guess its the 4th, i could not remember exactly). this movie made me in love dearly to New York city, each apartment there, starbucks, any book store, any coffeeshops, any flowershops. New York is such a lovely city.i suppose this is also American hegemony. they made us in love indirectly with their products, including the movies. well, whose faults that we dont make such products. it seems that it is impossible to make Indonesian hegemony. impossible topics. ridiculously funny. pointless humor. somehow, the coffeeshops in the movie were nice. it made me really want to run one coffeeshops one day, with books in it. where people can gather with their friends, having story telling lady, cultural and artsy events, paintings, small exhibitions. ahh...i think i am having another decaf moccachino non fat this afternoon...F-O-X...you think thats funny? it is.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:03 PM [comment]
***
Saturday, September 11, 2004
its the weekend, and the result of last night's sleepless session is a day full of sleep, and now i feel awkward with myself, especially my eyes. i am broke, really broke...i suppose that word would be frequently coloring my life.hehehe. never been so lucky to avoid that state of broke-ing, and...u dont want to know what will one do when they are broke. i sell myself. no kidding.hahahaha. nahh...never been that lusty to think of stripping my cute butt in front of some sugar daddies or hot mama's. the thing is money controls you. right? i dont want to talk about the examples, yet i am wondering what can control this very mind other than the money. frankly, i never been so happy to realize that money is controlling my life. i am wondering if one day there is another bigger and ultimate power that rules me, make me happier, and dont have to think of the presence of materials. will there ever be such power? wondering if one day i would not be so eager to have a mediteranian apartment, with windows straight to the central perk, a full package of Louis Vuitton in my sphere, driving my first and last bettle (which is going to be a blue one), living a life within the clubs during friday and the weekend, setting my feet regularly in a hip club with free entries and sipping my welcoming drink with hip buddies around my neck and girls lashing their eye lids to mine. what a so so mind. but it rules me.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:52 PM [comment]
***
its dawn and i just got back from a lounge, soda lounge for exact to spend some quality times with a junior who was having her birthday, and eventually got stuck to hersle cause she's quite depressed on her awareness of her situation. it was after the band in campus, i met the groupn and decided to stay awake the whole night talking bout stuffs. some drinks, blue sphere, sugay daddies on the pool side hitting the balls to the socketys, and some bitchy looking chicks went on their clubbing aftermaths. hedonic smoke. actually i am so tired, but somehow i managed to stay awake and soaked up the smoke, the cold, and chill out. kinda tired, but as the morning comes i survived the sleepless eyes. we got bored and moved out until i reached the cyber again, and listened to Joy's first single from her up coming album 'terima kasih cinta'. she sang the song once in the grand final and the finale. and now the song belongs to her.wish all the best for her. i think i must go home now, hug my pillow and enter the sleepy head area...another weekend, another ending, another beginning just in front of my eyes.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 4:55 AM [comment]
***
Friday, September 10, 2004
again, this nation is shocked, and jakarta was again bombard with...again, bomb. what the heck is happening to this darn life. i dont know. in jakarta people mourn and afraid to go out cause you never know where any stupid guys would plant the stupid bombs or any stupid guys would do suicide bombings and shed their stupid brain for stupid idealism. whatever their idealism is. they are stupid, cause their spoiled their life, and being so stupid to easily conform to any stupid idealism (which i believe was conducted by a few stupid so called the teror brain, who might now at this very moment laughing on the situation which is a radical out come of their untolerable stupidity). the bombs were the stupid means to shed the pretty facts of life. the stupid suicide for stupid people who were the stupid victims of some so called stupid genious guys (see...they are stupid and genious at the same times, so pointless, therefore they are so stupid). any smart life were being sacrificed by some stupid plottings. please stop being stupid and stupidly sacrificing others by being sto stupid believing in an idealism who comes from some stupid idiots so called smart people, they just want to blow your stupid brain and let you mashed yourself within the nitro cinerama of momentum explostion. stop being stupid...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 4:46 PM [comment]
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
mmm...does changing the template instantly cursed me as an unconsistent twink? i hope not, its just the mean of creativity, i mean...many free providers suggest you to use their template,well they are cute, but again...many people used those kinda template right? so what i am doing is just being original. being me, as u can see...its my first design actually, with a vectorate image of a guy on the back and some codes on the bottom left. i think something is missing, but i dont know what. gotta figure out...this far, i am quite plain with things and stuffs. i noticed that my brother is a bit normal and able to get over the breakup. i didnt know what happened to him during his back home stay, i wonder though. and his ex is missing, no sign of her for days, almost one week actually. and me myself i am having my eyes on the cute girl visiting the net these past few days, she's nice i think. but...hehehehehe. this far, i think she's nice. i dont know what happens next. this conscius tells me to say hi, and the rest tells me that 'uhh come on...get a grip...she's out of your league.' darn it...hopefully i can meet her again tomorrow, and do something about it...who knows that she'smy future wife :p anyway, enjoy blue's 'bubblin' on your ears each time you visit my blog.
this image was taken with the 6600 nokia. kinda sharp. but i guess i should try 7610. it would be much sharper i suppose.
this one was taken with sony ercisson t610, and somehow i should say that it does not deserve the title as best phone of 2003. just notice the difference between these 2 images here.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:48 PM [comment]
***
i am very aware of things that i can do and i cannot (well, for the latest i am not quite sure still...u know ego races more than your human strength). i just helped sisca to dress up her players for her next performance. it is sort of a new thing to me.i always interested to the thing called 'consultant.' i guess its kinda precious job, where everyone would ask on your opinion about sth. kinda cool. anyway, i am not expecting more attention from others though. just let it flow. if others need your advice then give them some. but i am not on the level where people must pay me to have my advices. back again, is not that precious. being paid by only saying your opinion. well you have to be expertice on the field, that's the way people will have u paid for the advices. back to sisca with her peformance. basically, its going to be a poem reading only. but she wants it to be more than poetry reading, she wants it to be a fashion show too. well isn't she cool. she said that she wanted it for so long to realize those ideas.and i think it is so cool that she has to make way for it. she wants something to remember from those years we spent in campus.i help her to shift the look of the poem readers. this far we have already messed up (hahahahaha) several designs for 2 readers. the first one would be a bit like vintage indian warrior, with oily and shiny skin and sleak curly hair (i have to take this guy's picture then) yet, he is holding a cell (a flip one) and i think it is going to be so cool.with that dark smoky eyes, he is going to be soo irrisistible...daaa...and the second one is a killer kitten wannabe, with boots and high heels, stretch shirt and afro hair (tara....!!!)...the age of fashion consultant is beginning.....and tomorrow we are doing the do's for other four readers if i am not mistaken....i love this...hahaha...anyway, contact me for more of the fashion consultant things.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:07 PM [comment]
***
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
i just got back from wondering around the city to find a trucker for my brother, budi. well, eventually we found no cap suitable for his head. and we ended having our dinner in PKL resto and talking how girls really messed up our life, and how we need girls in the other side. he is leaving to jepara tomorrow. and i would stay in Jogja for sure. within all the waiting i do agree with the topic. in one side the opposite sex has always been the georgeous killer of our passion, but on the other side we desperately need them. come on who can stand the lonely nights? even if many said that i am a homosocial person, girls always caught my attention. those lovely creature needs a man like me.hehehe. no kidding...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:08 PM [comment]
***
for those who might have continuously reading my blog might surprised to know that lately each entry did not have spesific title. that's due to the changing of the template of this blog. even i cannot trace the archives, i learned that one have to put the codes within the templates (so that you can have the arhives on ur page-and i don't know the codes). so here you are with this simple page, but i won't stop writing. last night i plunged in a chat session with a friend who said that i am a gay, and i am lying to myself that i am a bisexual. how come he could judged me that way, since i am the only one who knows myself and some people might considered that they have a special skill to 'read' people. but let me tell them that i am not readable. why am i writing this anyway? okay, he said that i am gay. whatever. anyway, i am tired enough with myself and looking at people with the look in their eyes as if i am a creature need to be preserved. they have to know that each time they considered i am weird, that's the moment when i decided to get even with those looks. when they think that i am queer, i'll venge them. i flirt and tease so nasty that they will consider me a twink who blows an old man in a luxurious hotel and got paid for that. thats a happy living, why not? you enjoy two things. u have sex, u got paid. and friday night is always fun. its nice to pay people back when you are in the mood for that vengeance. see them dripped with shame and furious anger. if i want a man then i would get the best man no one can get, its only me who will laugh in the end, and again friday night will always be fun. trust me. but that pretty girl will be mine too. no bullies.
its a very sweet vengeance.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 3:14 PM [comment]
***
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
anyway, i am crazy...witness yourself...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:09 PM [comment]
***
The University of Blogging
Presents to
stanley osmond
An Honorary
Bachelor of
Quiz Addiction
Majoring in
Boredom
|
|
|
Blogging Degree
From
Go-Quiz.com
actually, this is my lfe (?), may be...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:27 PM [comment]
***
tadi malam gw ketemu sama an old friend yang juga berkutat di film, bedanya dia sutradara dan mulai sedikit menulis dan gw penulis beneran, dan sedang menjajaki kemungkinan jadi sutradara. bla...bla...bla...hampir 3 jam kita ngobrol macem2, kita sepakat bahwa pekerjaan kita sekarang kayak tukang judi. bisa lucky bisa sial, dan sangat2 temporer. which is quite sucks. kayak sekarang, ini sudah lumayan lama sejak pemberitahuan terakhir sejak proyek gw itu. emang sih gw dikasih tahu kalo ini bakal lumayan lama, dan gw benci menunggu,ga tau ampe kapan bakal begini. its just that i hate the waiting.ngga penting dan ngga perlu banget. kaloperlu sih gw ngga mau nunggu. gw aja yang ga sabaran kali. mungkin ini yang namanya gambling. actually sebagai orang yg kerja di bidang ini,kuncinya satu aja kali, sabar. kudu sabar. dan saat gw broke sekarang menunggu itu semakin membosankan, dan membuat sesak...duh ngga perlu sekali ya.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 4:33 PM [comment]
***
Monday, September 06, 2004
gw punya adik. his name is abel. step brother. but still, he's coming from the same blood. our father's. dia udah hampir 3 tahun, desember ini. tapi ada satu hal, dia masih belum bisa ngomong. kalimatnya patah-patah. pengucapanya bener2 payah. tapi karena fisiknya yang lucu itu gw juga agak ga peduli dengan ucapannya yang belepotan itu. but then i wonder if he is still that way next year. something must be wrong. and actually, something is wrong. my father said that his motoric nerve does not work well. which part of the nerve, his nerve, that does not work well. i am worried. honestly worried. frankly, hanya dia dan fanny yang menghubungkan sebagian emosi kekeluargaan ini buat keluarga ke dua ku itu. several things masih membuat gw ngambang dan tidak bisa begitu berdiri dalam lingkaran. i am still out of the circle. emang lucu ngeliat dia ngomongnya patah-patah dan belepotan, tapi dia pasti lebih lucu lagi kalo bisa ngomong. kapan ya bel kamu bisa ngomong dengan jelas dan ngga cuma 'mu...mu...ah...abang...abang'. hehehe. jadi kangen gw. tadi papa nelpin dan dia yang disuruh ngomong. jadi kangen dia, rumah, semuanya. Tuhan kok aku ngerasa lonely sekali ya. doh, ga boleh sedih. harus kuat. hidup lo sekarang adalah yang lo pilih. harus kuat! abel nelpon, dan pastilah ngomongnya gitu. ngga jelas. papa nanya kapan wisuda. hehe. gitulah. mudah2an gw bisa lulus pas waktunya. malas juga lama2. dan pengen cepat jadi premium people.hehe. udah cukup segini? kayaknya sihh....
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:32 PM [comment]
***
umur gw udah 21, dan kayaknya itu udah cukup tua. tualah ya, udah punya 4 adik angkatan gitu lohh...tapi tetep aja my nature is pecicilan, dan ngga akan ada yg nyangka gw mungkin udah umur segini atau angkatan segitu. but i think its fun to stay young at heart. gini-gini muka gw cupu.hehe. cupu ga sih? gw bilang sih iya. huahahahahahahah. well, tadi ke kantin. biasalah ketemu teman2 gw yang masih kuliah. dan mencari slow motion gw yang entah udah berapa kalinya itu. dari tahun 2000 kayaknya polling slow motion gw bisa naiklah ya.hehe. gila. temen2 w masih ada yang ngambil kelas. kayaknya mereka ngga keburu2. agak iri juga, karena mereka kayak ngga mikir banyak soal masa depan yang menanti.the faculty of life itu. mungkin mereka mikir juga, dan gw aja yang ngga tau kali. sigh! well, ya itu, ketemu adik angkatan yang kata temen gw mukanya pada boros. what ever that means, tapi gw setuju jg. udah kayak mbak2. faktor gizi? atau emang gw yang segini2 aja ya. waktu terbang, time flies, dan kamu sudah sampai edinburgh. ngerti ngga? waktu terbang, dan kerut-kerut itu mulai muncul dengan waktu yang beristirahat di bawah pelupuk mata. senja datang mengingatkan jiwa agar bergegas supaya mimpi tak dipeluk malam, yang membuatnya raib, hilang, hilang...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:46 PM [comment]
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Sunday, September 05, 2004
in the end, people get to see and witness the birth of the first and the original Indonesian Idol. please welcome
joy destiNy tobing. as any people might have predicted, eventually joy gets the throne. and possibly she's the only one who deserves the throne, the fame. after all her efforts for sixth months, just some hours ago she's being approved as the winner with more than four million sms' and aclaimed as the highest vote ever in any Indonesian's reality shows. within the next half year the 2nd season of the Indonesian Idol will be started and we would be able to see the birth of another idols. i think the show has been so great and really giving the bites that we need,compared to the other singing competition in other's private TV which is so lame. and today, is the first day in which joy would start to prepare her up coming album (and everyone would be so enthusiatic to embrace this new super talented singer) and also her performance in world idol where she would compete with other idols from countries on the globe,including the velvet teddy bear Ruben Studdard.
joy destiny tobing
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:05 AM [comment]
***
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Indonesian idol adalah salah satu reality show yang lumayan impact di public Indonesia sekarang ini. people get to vote either buat Joy atau Delon. and i vote for Joy with all my consciusness that somehow in many ways Delon does not deserve the title and the fame. bukannya apa-apa, this is a singing contest, and most people drain their symphaty for Delon. i dont that he is cute at all. some oriental look does not work for me to make me drooling. dia itu biasa. dan dia itu ngga bisa nyanyi. okelah, kata temen gw buat yang amatiran dia itu fine. dan frankly speaking he is out of Joy's league. mau kita malu di world idol karena Delon ngga bisa nyanyi nada lain selain bariton? technically dia payah. aduh, semakin losing mood ngomongin nih orang. gw tau pasti bahwa dia sangat tertekan waktu Helena dan Nania harus cabut. do you actually noticed that he is losing weight? that his bones appears on his face, tulang wajahnya semakin tirus. dia stress karena dia tahu semakin banyak orang benci sama dia. this is an underdog story. many people love the premis of some underdog who manage to overcome the challenge and raise their heads above other. but come on. udah cukup buat SBY. kita sendiri ngga tahu apa SBY dengan kharisma dan rumor bahwa dia cakep itu bakal bisa bikin kita dan negara ini sehat lagi. anyway, i am not insulting. just figure it out. penonton Tv di Indonesia itu masih ada di level satu, penonton yang masih melihat outter performa, dangkal pastinya. Kita terlalu nggampangin banyak hal. sama kayak gw sendiri. gw nggampangin banyak hal yang kemudian bikin gw lame dan idioticly believe that everything will be okay, tapi ngga jadi okay karena I never put my hands on the bussiness. banyak yg bilang siapa pun yang jadi the original Indonesian Idol kita harus terima. dunia juga ngga bakal kiamat. tapi tetep lagi, i can't stand the imagination that one day Delon would sing in the world idol competition (yang ngga penting buat Delon ikutin karena itu jatahnya joY). delon bakal makan ati karena simon cowell bakal bilang dia mempermalukan kompetisi ini karena suaranya pas-pasan,bahwa dia cuma modal tampang, dan bahwa Indonesia berpikir apa saat vote dia jadi idol. Indonesia mungkin akan tersinggung ngeliat itu, tapi itu kenyataan, Delon ngga bisa nyanyi banyak lagu.cuman satu lagu. dia harus dikarantina untuk merubah karakter suaranya yang gereja banget itu. dan kalo emang dia dapet kontrak rekaman yang harus kerja sama dia palingan orang-orang yang menyukai lagu-lagu pelan dan tahu sekali bahwa Delon cuma punya suara bariton yang satu macam itu. synical? i bet i am.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:41 PM [comment]
***
satu pertanyaan muncul, kalo aku bisa lahir lagi, will i still remember what i did in my past life? and having the chance to recover and renew everything dalam bentuk yang baru, memperbaiki life itself supaya hidupku ngga kacau lagi kayak dulu, ngga banyak dosa dicommit, no foolishness ever. kalo udah begitu, saat suddenly aku bisa recover and maintain everything apa hidupku bakal senang? padahal selama ini i think that living within the edge is something kinda fun. in my opinion, peraturan memang bukan dibuat untuk dilanggar, at least bakal ada yang secure our live, orang-orang bakal ngga bebas menjarah, membunuh, nyolek, rape, or any crime. tapi bayangkan saat kita hanya bisa hidup seperti orang-orang di Pleasantville, sebelum ada Tobey mcGuire yang made love with that girl (lupa namanya siapa) mereka masih tetep hitam putih, but after they made love dia jadi berwarna. what's the point? aturan itu kalo dilanggar sekali ngga bakal bikin dunia kiamat. well, example...saat orang pada sibuk membayar uang kuliah tepat waktu bahkan ngantri pas hari terakhir, maka I will not be there...biasanya uang itu udah kepake buat apa, dan in the end i am paying the fee (including another additional charge. karena gw telat) saat semester baru. sering banget. tapi tetep aja Ibu kasir itu cemberut, kayak PMS tiap hari. kalo emang dia begitu, i am much more delighted to see her suffer more. bukannya kejam, dia tugasnya adalah to serve, she is a public worker, she is serving other people. well, what she does is the other way around. dia ngga ngelakuin apa tugasnya seharusnya. dan bukannya kita ngerasa lebih tinggi dari dia, but the question is banyak orang kayak Ibu tadi. susah banget ngasih senyum. bayangkan kalo misalnya dia senyum dikit aja, ngantri selama 4 jam hanya untuk bayar uang kuliah yang udah dateline bukan lagi sesuatu yang bikin boring. barangkali Ibu tadi harus dimake-over. dia harus lahir lagi. somehow. anyhow. whatever that means to you. mungkin dia harus ngelurusin rambutnya yang keriting ikal dan tidak teratur itu. memulas sedikit blush on, supaya kerutan di wajahnya yang cemberut itu sedikit hidup. mengganti kacamata tua yang kayaknya udah ada sarang laba-laba di ujungnya itu. mengganti caranya berpakaian. dia harus pilih warna cerah buat seragamnya. dia harus mulai memakan oat meal supaya jantungnya tetep sehat dan degupannya normal. dia harus lahir lagi. set ur spirit free, lahir aja lagi...lakukan hal-hal yang belum pernah lo buat...dan weekend ini hal yang pingin gw lakukan dan belum pernah gw buat...adalah...(to be continued)
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:24 AM [comment]
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Friday, September 03, 2004
gw cuma pengen bilang anjing! meet joe black mungkin satu-satunya film yang bikin gw nangis bombay. hampir 3 jam film itu jalan dan gw ngga ngerasa rugi liat brad pitt di situ. he was adorable, dan scriptnya...sorry... anjing, keren banget (yang nulis itu 4 orang. catat 4 orang, dan selama ini gw masih pede aja nulis script sendirian). the point is kayaknya cuma kematian yang bisa bikin orang sadar bahwa hidupnya mostly too static atau terlalu basi untuk dipanggil hidup. which scene yang bikin gw nangis? its on the D day. saat Bill Parish (anthony Hopkins) ulang tahun yang ke-65, dan saat dia bakal dibawa Joe (Pitt) ke alam sana. anak Bill yang tua, Allison, ngomong gini sama ayahnya waktu Bill bilang maaf karena dia ngga pernah jadi ayah yang baik (you never know what you got until its gone) " meski ayah selalu melihat dia (adiknya yang diperankan dengan terlalu Renee Zelwegger oleh Claire Forlani-or is it the other way around?) dengan mata berbinar setiap kali dia muncul, dibanding dia (alison) yang selalu kelihatan ambisius, tapi alison tahu kalo alison loves her father and that Bill has always been a good father and she's glad enough to have the feeling of having her...duhh...lo harus liat sendiri deh...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:25 PM [comment]
***
like most of my classmates, gw termasuk yang kehilangan kesibukan karena most of our times kita ngurusin skripsi yang menjadi beban. honestly, its a burden. in one side, skripsi itu ngga ada gunanya karena siapa bakal nanya judul dan bahasan skripsi lo waktu lo apply pekerjaan (unless you will apply di US embassy, note there: skripsi gw ngebahas tentang hegemony Amerika Serikat atas dunia yang direpresentasikan oleh sebuah novel. eventually kayaknya gw bakal dikick out bersama aplication gw karena kebanyakan bahasan gw mencatat bahwa The States is not more than a dummy nation trying to make another dummy colonies on the globe with all their fanchises. including the idol stuff). di sisi lain skripsi membuat otak belakangmu selalu aware sama logical thinking. dan kayak gw yang udah tidak kuliah lagi, otak gw serasa buntu karena suddenly gw ngga baca apa2, kecuali entries dari blog, dan majalah gaya hidup. gw harus hati-hati karena gw ngga mau jadi dumb atau lame. again, gw rada unisex, so i read cosmopolitan too. dan artikel yang menarik bukan hanya 'how to please men' tapi juga tentang krisis pribadi yg dialami oleh anak muda seumuran gw. in fact, orang-orang seusia gw, yang sudah mulai merasa bahwa mereka memasuki the faculty of life (read: the real life), menjadi khawatir kalo mereka ngga bisa jadi apa-apa in the future nanti. symptomps are: biasanya suka clueless mau ngelakuin apa, sudah mulai set masa depan dengan mencari kerja (apapun itu namanya, supaya bisa dapet uang hasil keringat sendiri, dan berbangga sedikit sama orang tua yang banyak menuntut dan dengan tak sabar ingin melepaskan kita dari tanggungan ekonomi mereka. its not their fault anyway, kapan kita bisa terbang ke langit luas kalo kita tetap suka di cangkang kita yang hangat. saat dunia menjadi tua, kita menjadi dungu. seperti Robbie Williams di Jack yang dengan cepat bertambah tua, sementara dunia sekitarnya statis di kecepatan itu. thats a different case huh? jadi gini, saatnya terbang, kita harus terbang. tapi dunia harus sadar bahwa tidak semua orang punya waktu yang sama buat take off. like me, mimpi basah gw termasuk telat. i kept asking myself, kapan sperma itu bakal keluar waktu gw tidur, sementara temen gw sibuk dengan gadis kabur yang mereka liat di mimpi basah mereka, and hot it was so colorful. i kept wondering. suara mereka memberat, dan suaraku masih di langit sana. no one can blame hormons right? gw rasa, apapun kita nanti (what we will become) pastinya itu udah lewat proses pematangan yang ngga main-main. kalo emang lo bakal jadi penjahat, be the one yang diingat dan kalo emang lo pengen mati di kursi listrik pastiin crime yang you commit is something really edgy (clue: canibalism sumanto. sampe sekarang gw masih jiper aja ngeliat tu orang. very remote, yet a killing monstro). dan buat gw, sekali lagi, mau jadi penulis, mau jadi penulis apa gw? apa yang membuat orang bakal beli dan baca tulisan gw. should i write about my dualism? about my being depressive and my being suicidal and my being arrogant? no one knows. jawabannya ada di langit, di balik langit, dan di balik langit lagi, di balik langit lagi....
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:57 PM [comment]
***
Thursday, September 02, 2004
susah kalo lo horny. pengennya terpuaskan. caranya gimana? banyak cara. mau yang halal atau tidak halal? self indulgence dengan masturbasi and watching cheap porn? atau deseparetely buying sex on the street in the mid night with many risks of STD. or the most high tech one, lo nyari sex di internet. plunging into the pool where sex seekers join the other sex minded people. i did the last one quiet often, just self indulgence. meeting other people who tend to think about wild sex without ever making it happen, unless lo cukup punya nyali untuk melakukan transaksi itu. i read once in the mid east country, ada seorang remaja pria yang terjebak dalam sebuah hubungan platonik yang in the end jadi a bit intimate, dan this young man got killed by that woman he chatted the whole times. cewek itu teroris. dan anak muda itu bukan korban pertamanya. kinda freaky method to protest and cast your voice huh? tapi terorisme udah submerge di mana-mana. who can guess kalo tetangga kamu adalah teroris, kayak nasib jeff bridges yang sangat sial di arlington road, itu udah ironi. anyway, maksud dari tulisan gw adalah sex itu can lead to anything. hati-hati sama bilogical demanding nerve kamu. saat endorphin ingin dipacu dan kamu tahu kamu butuh sex. trus kalo di dunia ini ga usah ada biological basic need kita bisa hidup ngga? kayaknya ngga. gw dan lo ngga bakal bisa muncul. awalnya napsu jO!dan kalo ga ada basic instinct gimana gw bisa jadi gw sekarang ini? apa bisa someone turn to the current of their maturity in just one night without sex? no you don't. gw ketemu orang dewasa (menurut mereka) yang kolot about sex, with the believe that they are protecting old believes and the purity of cultures and tradition, tapi tetep aja kolot. jadi ngga open minded. sexuality adalah kebebasan. bener? now, whom i'm gonna f**k tonight?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:33 PM [comment]
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tadi gw ketemu sama senior (beda jurusan tapinya) yang udah kerja di freeport, tembaga pura. from her look gw bisa bilang kalo salary di sana lumayan gede. she's quite different now. cara ngomongnya aja udah beda. melihat dia gw jadi agak takut dengan masa depan. bukan apa-apa. gw tiba-tiba ngerasa kalo my college years passed so quick. suddenly gw harus lulus, bikin skripsi yang susahnya ampun deh, punya adik kelas udah tingkat 4 di bawah gw, dan seperti yang senior gw bilang itu 'you are entering the college of life now.' which is harder than the actual college. tahun2 gw di kampus sangat sibuk. 3 tahun pertama gw bisa bilang gw sibuk. dan gw sekarang ngerasa bahwa gw ga pernah enjoy. hidup pribadi agak kacau karena sibuk dengan organisasi. jujur aja, tiba-tiba gw ngerasa plain. the faculty of life. emang bakal kayak apa sih. one thing for sure. gw 'agak' ngga siap. ngelakuin sesuatu yang serius dan sifatnya kantoran seperti bukan gw. keinginan gw buat jadi penulis udah ada di depan mata. apa kemudian gw harus ngelepas itu dan mulai bekerja di kantor, ada aturan, pulang jam berapa, masuk jam berapa, punya gaji tetap perbulan dan bisa selalu ngerasa secure. kerja di bidang hiburan ngga gampang, nak...sekarang ada uang banyak bisa aja 3 bulan lagi lo kelaparan...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 12:13 AM [comment]
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
eventually i managed to see ALien versus Predator. last week i rented some movies which can be concluded as horror. since its freaking me out to watch them on my own, I took moments to justify myself that i must watch it in the end. i succeded anyway.Alien has always been the scariest. i imagined that those spider kinda like creature crawling in my belly and strike out to the surface as i am realizing that a living creature is killing me slowly. damn. thats terifying thoughts. whats more is that they are terrific organic killing machine. i think they will never die as they would always find people to generate their babies. they are parasites i am telling you. and within this movie, that organic brainless crawling killing machine gest to meet another ugly (yet cool and rasta like character) bozo. the predator. the first half of the movie was kinda fun. i mean, now people get to see those horror moments again. when the baby aliens are plunging out of the eggs, and strapping their six (or that are eight) legs to the face of the victim and gets their 'thing' inside the mouth , down to the stomache. yaikss! but suddenly the movie went lame when the main heroine (i think Shana Lathaan is replacing the tough lesbo like Ripley) was given the body part of a dead alien to protect herself, and to fight another aliens which might aburptly attacking her. guess who gave that? the rasta like dude. gee, that' s lame. so lame. and the girl (i never know her name till the end of the movie, and up to this moment) made a fighting duet with the predator to abolish those aliens. the predator dude looks stupid to me. who wrote that? somehow, its kinda fun to see those organic killing machine gets to kill each other in one frame. once in a blue moon.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:56 PM [comment]
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