though running through an episode of anger with a subject of discussion with reny the last time we met, in which i decided to take everything smoothly, still i consider myself lose. its a feeling i cannot ignore. its an emotion thati cannot let down. sincerely, up to now i still let them ruling my nerve. the good thing is i am busy at the moment. with all the shooting schedules. it was all tiring, but i enjoyed it. i met many new friends that make me people so young despite of my real motive and age. i think i am selfish with myself. not letting myself to feel happy for myself and for anyone. currently, writing this i am listening to Andre Bocelli. i wonder how his music really provides a relieve for those who hear him. its been a hard and busy week for me, and may be for the rest of people whom i know were also so busy. if only i can find a field of purple or lilac jasmine to forget to rest my burden, it would be so damn good. is there such a place. i suppose i am depressed that i am hoping to find such a place. my movie is 70% complete. another day of shooting are waiting. lets keep up the good work guys.i am tired already, hopefully u have not and lets finish this.