sigh. this is one of the worst weekend one might ever had. well, maybe i am a bit bragging. its not yet the worst nightmare. ahhh. wishing that there is one clear solvency for this. why this kinda thing has to occur this time of the year. when people might really mind to think, to brag, to stuff themselves with this kinda problemo. so unimportant. well, now its crucial. first : going back home and spend a nice yet dull Christmas talking to your father? or second : going to the capital city to evoke yourself in the sphere you have always wanted. damn, this is lame, this is awful. i cannot think of not spending christmas at home. i will miss those blub lights on the tree, the food, the gathering, the movies, the shopping, everything. darn it.

and this weekend i feel awful towards some people. quite awful. and why should my paw become this unsupportive. not the kind of parents u will find in HOllywood movies. again. sigh. i wish that he could be more supportive and encouraging than this. i mean, like he knows everything that fits to us. should a son fights his father most of the time when it comes to whats best to his son's future? we live in the different age, culture, even atmosphere. i am not saying that i know everything. but i know what i want.

anyway, the whether is such a cold one now. the winter is emerging as the autumn leaves slowly. this is winter anyway. well, its called rainy season here. it rains almost everyday everyminutes and no one knows whether it will be big or small in drops. all laundry service are full booked, and again the clothes need sunshine to dry them off. i just put mine in one the laundrette. and all of a sudden i feel like the shelves is empty. darn it. i think i need time to think of everything. think stanley, think!

anyway, have a nice weekend. period.