Monday, February 21, 2005
most of the times i dont actually feel that i am quite responsible to my life. shame on me. but thats the fact. i am less responsible than my sisters do. up to this moment i am such a trouble maker for the men of my age. suddenly i remember a brother of a friend who happens to be as useless as i am. duuuh. well, i dont have the right to justify, yet...from what she said i can conclude that the guy i meant here is that kind of person. in fact there are many useless people in this world. i am one of them. i reckon that my father used to call me 'destroyer,' since everything that i touched suddenly broken. i did not know the exact reason. but i knew that those things wont last and things will always break that's why u need to buy a new one. he always blame me on anything and call me a boy of no importance. telling me that i cannot do anything else beside asking for money, breaking those stuffs he bought, and the rest that i could not remember.and now, every achievement that i made did not really mean something to him. i wonder, to whom i can really share any goals that i have. my friends do not really understand it all, and only a few really matter to me. therefore i feel less proud of myself. do i spill it all?
i am quite stuffed with that. got too tired and feel so relieve that i am out of the house. but then i get the idea that i will never really escape myself from my parents. there's always a piece that makes me back there. back in the house, where i could find no peace. to be honest i feel reckless there. its all changing and i dont feel quite at home.
now here i am, a more trouble maker and a more less responsible creature. i dont likely feel proud. anyone out there feel likely to survive without someone standing near to you and can really appreciate what u have done, what u have achieve.
i manage to find myself an escape for all of that. damn i hate writing this. i just want to be home. i want to go home. where ever that is now.
Michael Buble. home. album: it's time.
Another summer day
has come and gone away
In Paris or Rome...
but I wanna go home
...uhm Home
may be surrounded by
a million people I
still feel all alone
just wanna go home
I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters
that I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane, another sunny place,
I'm lucky I know
but I wanna go home
I got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
but you always believed in me...
Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home"
listen to Michael Buble's single home here.
ps: dont read this, its just an unprecious note of my emotional state. i dont like to write it anyway, but it just came out.i just miss everyone i used to know in the past, and the past that captured me.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:34 PM [comment]
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