Tuesday, March 29, 2005

the template of my present webblog does not allow me to publish any spanish wannabe title (cause actually those spanish language i used before was, well, terrible). well, the previous sentence was actuallu not a good way to start this posting. to be honest, everyone would be confuse whenever they want to start a sentence. then the choice would be this flat cliche lines: everyone would feel hard to start sentence, then they would start it with this...hahahaha. anyway, this week is the pre celebration of my birthday, i would not easily and kindly share the date, but that friendster stuff is a mess.i am not the kind of person who likes to share the date of my number, come on...if you are my friend find out yourself! anyway, the friendster stuff announce everyone's birthday one week before it actually takes place. awful, everyday would ask me then...its kinda strange how indonesian celebrates birthday. they ask the birthday boy to treat, we suppose to be treated right? sigh.
now that many friends waiting to be treated, i feel awful...not awful, the word is such a mess. the thing is...i dont want to be 23!!! thats is so lame....
well, its not that lame, but the thought of being an adult, or just leaving your youth scares me. anyway, i am still a young man. the word YOUNG is still accessible for my identity. i think the fear is more than just, you know, rational, it has become irational. i used to wonder how it feels to become an adult. i used to think that when you have become a MAN, a respectable man, then the world would put respect on you. cause kids are often being underestimate. and for my case that goes on frequently. i am quite unlucky, frequently disregarded for my underated height. in short, i am not that tall. even there are girls who are taller then me, and some of the girls in the past, to whom i share an affectionate feelings were tall. sigh. i used to feel awful with my height. knowing that its just not enough. and that the world put more respect on tall guys.
tall guys can be a model, an actor, of course girls love tall guys. i feel low and losing my mood for love, if i consider that.
but the time has changed. cause the world believes that stanley fairouz osmond is more than a short cute guy, the world says that there is a great man with a great talent there. so, i broke the chain and smile to the world. i felt so wonderful knowing that my height is not a problem anymore, that love still smiles at me. ouuhhhh...so cliche...
sigh, again.
anyway, this is an open invitation for all of my friends:
my birthday will be celebrated on the some date of april, find that out first, and then you can come to the open air party.its a pot luck birthday party, so bring your own deserts, cakes and party things.
the event will start at 7 pm at kedai kopi. all of my close friends will be there, that does not include fake and posers. i have the hottest dj in town to shake the roof top for all of you guys...hahaha. the party will be like till...puke. thats cool enough?
anyway, free beer for all!!

(its all a lie up there!)

okay, i am turning 23. and i guess now, i am ready.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:51 PM [comment]

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:04 PM [comment]

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

this is the beginning of a kinda nice weekend. probably, since...well many things tangled just that pretty damn fine. i mean, things that rumbled to each other and cooperated so fine to create turbulence to my state of mind. or is it just me who cannot accept the truth. the truth that the waiting means just have to wait and i have to manage myself to suit my pretty lame ass with all of these hectic state i am in and the one that i created myself.enough.i read yesterday in reader's digest that how we act towards a certain state will determine how we are. that looser probably will escape from the damnation of fate incase he or she can submerge into another positive angle of seeing things and start to build positive attitude towards the damnation, in short...get a life instead of becoming a mourning asshole.besides, the sun always shines no matter what, accept that the predetermination of man's life is not from a twisted sect manage to ensure you that tomorrow is the end of the world. to re-start the holiday i would make a confession that this year's easter i had not done any confession myself.sigh.i still believe in God. but the idea that a flesh would be the one who say that my sins are abolished now plays inside my mind.my God, have i been to synical lately???ummm...gee.again, i am not trying to say that i have become an atheist. but, i mean, only God knows what state i am in.sorry.and my God is the only one who knows why i dont come to this year's confession.
next. shounji had it review in MTV trax everyone.

gya gya gya. hahahaha. i am glad. eventually.well, this does not mean an end, but my beginning. yes, my beginning to work my ass on another movie. and next time i should be serious and more eager to tell my stories.not in a sense that i am boasting or something, but now i have the reason, that what i did was not merely having fun. this is only a review, its not an award, but this means everything for me, for my friends who work their ass damn hard to work with me on shounji. honestly, i am a bit helpless on the second project cause things are so tremblin everywhere for me.sigh.but, i will fight!!!!!
and...happy easter y'all!!!!

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:48 PM [comment]

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Monday, March 21, 2005

betty has her final board exam today. and she's one step closer to embrace the real tough future, i guess.its kinda scary, because the future is unpredictable and makes u sick with loads of burden which wait for you. meaning that, being an adult is not that easy.sigh. next month i will have my board exam too, for sure, cause i dont want to stay a college students longer.haha.what a sick joke, that education tangles you in the end once you dont mean to do it.meant everything you want to do.be someone in the future, yet dont hold ur dream cause it might haunt you in the future.sorry dad, i cant graduate this april.but i will have my final board exam soon.hopefully that glads you, or at least make u calmer.the feeling of havent finishing this stuffs freak me out dude. hahahaha.what a way to wanna be. many things to do. write my script, thats how i pay my bills. finish my thesis. and...my community service will be next month. ouuu, thats sickening, just to think of it...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 12:38 PM [comment]

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

there is the time when the air just dont feel good, and the heat feels like a chill cold that submerge through your skin, when the night just dont feel that friendly for the moment, and amm...your head turns dizzy.it does not feel like the end of the world. but illness makes you feel like the day turns into night so qucik and the only confortable object appears to your mind is your cozy bed. may be thats the best thing i must have now.i remember a looong time ago i was that sick that i could not bring my ass up the bed.yes, you got it...up the bed. and i could not ride my bike.it felt terrible...terrible...so pretty much terrible...urgghhh...it was unbelieveable but that was the moment when i felt so sick.of anything, and none of those food i bought cheerfully said Hi to my diagfragma.
its true when a friend of mine said that when you are sick then health is the most expensive thing you will ever think of.
and tomorrow i have these 5 pieces of invitation for more rave-ing moment.yaw...mmm.a bed is the thing for now.and a good reading is a must, so that i can turn to sleep nicely.a glass of warm chocolate milk with vanilla topping or ice cream, yumm.and a...choco chips would be good. hehe.this way, sickness wont feel that terrible.
urmmm...bed, bed, bed...and a movie would do me good...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:44 PM [comment]

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

what a week. this is wonderful. but i dont know whether my guts are there to do it, to survive the hectic avalon of my present life. its going to be very busy, and the word deadline is in my dictionary, again, eventually. well, i do not know, i did not know how it feels to have such deadline. and since i manage to become a scriptwriter, that was a year ago, i met such term.deadlines. i remember i was working on this premise and those company wanted me to develope the story, and i was dumbstruck cause i went nowhere until D minus one and my supervisor called me and message frequently to check whether i have been doing something on the story. and the day got closer and closer to my deadline and i was still as dumb as a donkey, i could not do anything with the story.i could not meet the demand of the story. some part of the story was really demanding that i was going nowhere and felt terrible if i made a mistake.yikes. and there was I, i remember quite closely that i was wake up until 2 or 3 in the morning to write the story (it must be submitted the next morning). i finished the writing. but i felt like writing some garbage that i did not deserve writing. well, my SP told me that just try it, so i wrote it. with a lack of knowledge what i wrote. he sent some materials to contribute things in my writing. yet, those packages he sent me became stranded on the corner of my dusty room. the materials were heavy i could not read it once. its about something big, heavy, and dangerous, and i need to put them in the story. gosh. i suddenly realized that i was told to write something about a damnation of a certain country, which is my country.sigh. that was hard. yet, i wrote it. and i did not know what i write.as i told u, it was a garbage. and now i wonder what kind of story managed to go into the company.the one which will produce the winning story.sigh.back to the deadline.
i dont know what i was born for but this is what i am doing now and i like it, somethings are good, and the rest is...well, i dont know, they find it good. the thing is i have a thing for writing (not meant to boast or something, but people need to make a living rite?). this far writing was and is good.i find the thing i can really related to and love to do.

well, this week some more jobs are waiting. most of them are of course, writing, and they have that deadlines. woops. i dont know whether i can make a frequent posting later on. i got a soap to write each day. and another soap for a day also but a day needs two ep. and my second amateur movie is also in line. and still many things to prepare for that movie. have i told u that i decided to change the title? yaye. it needs to be more rawk in a sense. and a...
well, i think a daily visit to kedai kopi would probably help me figuring out the stories? ump ump...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:11 PM [comment]

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

many coincidence in life, in probably it only takes just one night for all of the coincidence to happen. do u believe in the so called serendipity or you are the kind who believes destiny and dare to fight againts your fate?

i was thinking that the title for my second movie project is going to be in french. i always sense that french sounds sexy (suddenly i remember before sunrise where July delpy refused to be considered sexy when she gets mad, cause foreigner thinks that an angry french woman looks darn sexy, cause they speak french?), yet eventually the old chosen title sounds lame and not selling at all. after all, its hard to pronounce that sentence. the french use pretty much deep r and loses quite some of the strong expression (according to my mouth, lips, and tounge). after some serious and not so serious talks with my brother, i decided to change it. now it is unhappy birthday. notice the difference on the choice of color and word, before and after. the new title is so fit in the sense that in this movie i would bring the spirit of old rock, the eternal blazing youth of jeans, the vintage air, and more rock and roll. unhappy birthday is a song from the smiths. and its solved! and i think that the latest chosen title would be more catchy. sigh.
there are some more coincidence happen just tonight. some belongs to budi, but i wont spoil it here. kinda tacky anyway. i am so exhausted.its 5 am something and i have not take my rest since, yesterday.i went out too much. and i neet to rest my ass here.lack of sleep is one major cause of acne attack everyone.and my face is one darn sensitive skin. acne is always a part of my issue lately. dont know. but all major cause of acne are my daily dish: the heat of the sun, stress, extra oil on face, lack of sleep, and unhealthy life style you name it.sigh, again.
anyway, its sunday, again, and today i would like to have more sleep. and working on my thesis and...dont know whether i would find more coincidence. well, i would enlist something here, just in case:
-i need to list the set
-i need to enlist the shooting schedule
-i need to list the places
-i need to list the schedule for the actors
-i need to break down the script
-i need to draw a screenplay for the cameraman
-what else...

darn i am sleepy. i am fading out. the light is out...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 4:51 AM [comment]

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Friday, March 11, 2005

how close you are to a person does not guarantee that he or she would share everything that she or he has to your sense of friendship. this is a harsh truth that i met tonight, actually dawn. i encountered this while talking to my mon hermano. i would never have known that he was with someone, the otherday, had not the waiter mentioned something about that on my face.actually i do realize that people have their own bussiness.there are things that people wont share with you, though you are their so called close friends, for the sake of their definite private life.the item which has been so expensive lately due to the presence of internet and satelite ( i heard that the most sophisticated satelite ever exist on earth will find out whereever you are and whatever you do, thats creepy!!). read Dan Brown's novel and find out about this sort of thing (he's the one who wrote the infamous The DaVinci Code,FYI).
back to the previous lines. my mon hermano's face was like busted. like i was not supposed to know that.obviously he wont share that with me.i was confused, in the sense that well...we share the subject about that bulging eyed-girl-whom-he-thought-was-playing-with-him sometimes ago, but now, its turning all around. i dont think that i have the exclusive unlimited access to my mon hermano's life but again, it is obvious to realize that he was setting a brickwall.eventually, he decided to go back home.i bet now he still think about that.its fair enough to know that he wont share that with me.well,again...he was busted.he was. and he was blushing.i knew it.and now i wonder how wide it would take for me to realize that we are not that open anyway to each other.i was thinking that i might be the only one who knows what he is facing the moment, and he knows what i have.for the sake of friendship and brotherhood i swept away any feelings of curiousity and pretence, he would tell me, unless he doesnot want me to know anyway.

for the sake of week-end, today is friday. my brother,komang,will celebrate nyepi,starting from tonight,this mid night.last year's nyepi was like...i forgot...but i remember that he was still in his old boarding and his girlfriend was here, and we were there accompanying him.and now,well...i dont know.i probably would sleep so tight to the pillow preparing myself to hit the floor tonight.its friday night everybody,time to shake.gag.yeah, a dj from netherland is coming to town, and for the sake of rave-ing purity,i come to seek the music and make my body turn around.yeah...hahaha.and tomorrow, there will be maliboro street festival. the whole malioboro street will be blocked. and i guess it would turn out like the kemang festival.well,i plan to take pictures...lets see.we will catch many nice moments then. and a...i will go there with my brother,budi...mmm...rosemary is going to launch her novel: kana di negeri kiwi on april...thats shocking.now i am not the only writer on the neighborhood then...hgahahahah....

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 3:26 AM [comment]

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

i have always known that i never have that X factor to be a celebrity, yet yesterdayi still manage and spare my times to join the audition for that idol thing. the idol. the only reality show that produced the original kelly clarkson. the one which is the franchise. well, i sense that i have the thing for singing but aparently it is not that big. i used to join some singing competition in high schools and made it to the big five. but i guess time has really brought me the thing to do to feed my guts. and its not singing. well, anyone can have a dream of being on a stage with another singers or my brother call them vocalists (to differ those who sing with exaggerating attitude and those who sing so called from their heart). i always dream that well, one day i could sing with shania. u tell me...i could sing each of her song from her woman in me album. i was mesmerized by her voice, her songs, her appearance, and her...everything. i am a big fan of her since then. till now anyway. its the thrill that u cannot feel everytime i sing her song. well, for those who consider that rock music is the coolest ever might dont know how it feels to enjoy a country song. i dont blame people for loving rock songs or sleazy and lame pop songs anyway.

back to the audition.just like last year, thousands of people flocked to run for their dream. i bet all the people in the que line believe that its the calling of their life, to be a star, cause thats what the show has always emphasized all the time.if u think u have the guts and quite enough voice to sing, i suggest u try, who knows u could appear some minutes fame on TV. each year there are always strange stylissimo trying to make an appearance on TV. well, its their decisions to be the object of laughing anyway. Tv always manage to sell something right?
anyway, i came like in the middle of the day with some other anthusiastic dream chaser. we waited for 4 hours until came the moment, which was only 1 minute or so, to deliberately sang our song and to reckon that...well,sorry guys you are not the kind of idol that we are looking for, better luck next time. yeah...right. thousands of people came and probably only 20 something will be embrace and brought to Jakarta.
its this kinda phenomena that sells on TV. people love it.
anyway, when will the time comes for the end of reality TV?

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:40 PM [comment]

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Sunday, March 06, 2005

this week movie is bad education. i dont remember exactly since when i decided to watch and follow any movie written and directed by the infamous pedro almodovar. well it started 2 years ago, i suppose, when i watched the spanish movie festival held by gajahmada state university. i first encountered with talk to her. a very poignant, yet thoughtful movie. a different way and taste of a country's cinema to portray life. thats how i would describe the work. the idea is rare, and the casts were...splendid. i found it humorous, yet hillarious and again, poignant. i dont know how to describe it in a more personal way, the work is such a captivating one, i wish i could write and direct such movie. i am trying, and learning. all about my mother was, again, sad, beautiful, genious.talk to her was honest, and the honesty of the images captivated my mind, body, and soul (if that's pretty enough). later, i managed to watch amorres peros (i have written about this one sometimes ago). some months ago i watched my life without me starring the cute monica potter and that hunky bear, i forgot his name at the moment. and last night i watched bad education. and again, those movies were so pedro. they were so honest, unpredictable, for some nations probably prohibited in their cinemas, and pedro's and his club cultura's movies were always colorful, green, red, orange, purple, name the colors you love. they did not use it like when u watch Hero, they just blend and was not orchestrated to be beautiful. the colors mingle with the splendid casts.ahh, i cannot tell u with words, u need to watch it urself, indulge ur sense with spanish ways of cinemas. one thing for sure, prepare urself, pedro always manage to picture sex the way it is, and i am astonished that the actors and actresses are so capable of doing it. whats more, homosexual relationships is a reoccuring issue in his pictures. indulge pedro, i say. do notice that pedro seems to love his actors and actresses so much that several actors can easily be found playing in most of his movies, like the one who is the leading man in this movie.



ps:
the title of this posting also addresses:
a)a brand of a custom made tee from bandung.
b)the band formed by boy george.

further readings and foundings:
cultura club

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:58 PM [comment]

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Friday, March 04, 2005

a magazine last month wrote that the only key to live longer than anyone you know around you is just a simple laugh. a really down hearted laugh, a big laugh, just a glimpse of a smile, and u will feel it. i always know that laughing will make u forget some temporary things going around your head, yet, that things which going around in my head never really walks away anyway, unless i really manage to solve it. thats it human. thats the thing. most of menkind tend to escape from their problems. this way a laugh wont work to escape ur burdened mind. but well, a research is a research. i agree that laughing is simply the cheapest medicine to erase ur blues. i remember that last night i had a big laugh with some wittiest girls i ever know this past years, introducing memes and sandra (as usual). we shared jokes on people around, yes darling we really love to talk about people, wondering when we eventually tired of making laugh of people. well, there was a worst case scenario of 'what if an exhibitionist encounters you on a mid day?' that was the biggest laugh yesterday.
about the article on the magazine, i did not really read it thoroughly, but the laughter should be accompany by 8 moderate stuffs or methods that will help you to see sunshine-inside ur heart-everyday. i am going to be synical here, all books of 'how to...this, how to that' never really work well for me, since they determine us to do something that they (the author) believes will work on us. its a one side judgement on people should really react to things happening around them. do u think its fair to let other people think that they really know whats happening to your life. you are the only person who know what happen to ur life. this way the life is creating some pretty good advantages for some people calling themselves experts on problim solving. well, lest just discuss it. i need to make a posting here anyway. hahahahaha.
8 steps toward a more satisfying life (they say):
1. count your blessings, from the mundane to the magnificent.
lets see what happened to my life this far, today:
-i have felt starving, thank you God, i learned that starving is torturing and that i need to prepare myself for future starvation.
-tyo thank God u lent me the money (which put me on the top list for great debtor of this year)
-i could seep my fave cold latte
-i decreased my debt level by returning edi's money
-i could write this posting...
2.practice act of kindness:
-mmm, i helped the parking man to park a cute girl's motorcycle...
3.savor's life joy:
-i could feel the AC here
-the afternoon sun rays was warm just now...
4.thank a mentor:
-i thank my brother budi for making me pleasant with all tortures that my surroundings created against me, possers, and fakers.
5.learn to forgive:
-i dont really hate people, but there are some out there who never really quit bugging me, i forgive u...
6.take care of ur body:
-this means that i really need to decrease the level of my nights out, clubbs, and getting high...i need to excercise, sleep more, stretching my fat bellies more, smile more, and laughing more...sigh.
7.invest energy and time in friends and family:
-i am going to pick my sister up from campus
-i always spend some quality times with my brother budi in kedai kopi
-i always chit chat around with the girls while having dinner
8. develop strategies for coping with stress and harships:
-mmm, i still try to find the answer for this one, since i never really (that) powerful to cope with my stress...i run here most of the times...

sigh.
anyway, this is weekend everyone. i am always depressed facing my weeked. dont know why...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 4:56 PM [comment]

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