Saturday, April 30, 2005

i guess this post is a risky one.i made it with a rush on my head banging to me saying that quick write the post or you will pay a lot for the access. too bad there is nothing really cheap in indonesia.sigh.at first i thought that i wont make this post, cause my habbit is i write the post when i am online, compared to other bloggers maybe who does not have many spare times like me who write their post as a draft and then wehn they get the chance to be online then they will post it.i just thought that i have to write this post.
today betty graduated, her parents come and me and my brother come to celebrate, to greet her for exact.what a feeling to see her graduated. what actually did i feel to see her wearing the toga? i feel left.my friends are leaving one by one.i am just too busy doing things, sigh...lets cut this post, i could not think...what a weekend, i am broke...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:34 PM [comment]

***

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

many things happened during days and eventually you can call it a week, but this one has not ended yet. i was pretty much busy with chasing the dreams, cause i really remember and really trust the idea that if you dont chase your dreams while you can, you would regret that for life. and i dont want to regret things when i grew older. there. so i am sorry dad if up to this time i still have not finish my study. sigh. i feel so terrible about this anyway, everyday. do you think i can do something, well there is. some one told me to stop doing chasing some of that dream. but i just could not.so here i am with my second movie. the shooting days are ended already. yesterday for sure. not pretty much memories were made, except that i am really tired in this project. just imagine, i was doing all the things on my own. i wrote the story myself, i shot the movie myself, i directed it myself, and only tyo helped me.i guess i have told you guys that most of my previous crew are busy doing the play performance. i have been there, twice...so i know exactly that they cannot be bothered. anyway, the shooting was finished yesterday when i took the videos where the casts are buying the sengsu. i remembered that in my whole life i was eating that dog meat, literally, once only and compared to what i saw yesterday the look and the smell was a lot different. so i just sit there and watched my casts eating that sengsu, hungrily. honestly, i almost vomit when i smell the odor of the food. it smelled different. i did not remember the exact smell of that food. but the smell ensure me that i wont eat that thing.to make it lot worst i met a cute dog in the same morning the afternoon we bought the sengsu, and before we went to buy the sengsu i met someone who later told me that the cute white dog died of breathing infection. what the fuck does that mean? well, i did notice that the cute white dog shivered all the time and he walked like a drunken puppy. the first time i saw that puppy i thought that he was just got out of his mommy's womb. but actually he was sick. darn it. he was too cute to die. enough of dog.
last week i was pretty mad towards some of my friends who, well...i dont know whether its cool enough to still treat them like friends. you see, they hide many things from me, they dont want me in their activities, they group themselves and do things on their own and they take some of my close friends in that activity. its pretty obvious that they dont want me. what else.a pretty obvvious rejection which made me feel terrible of having friends like them. fuck. who do they think they are. my brother told me to be cool. but i just could not. they have to respect my feeling. if they keep doing things like this i dont know if i still can laugh and see their face, ever again.

God. what did i do wrong. at first i was trying to be kind enough to deal with them, but lately they been butting everything.i am so lucky i dont have to meet them all the time. fuck. i guess there are kinds of people who think that they can manage what the society can do, how the society should behave towards one, well...i must have forgotten many things.

i'd rather edit my movie than noticing them behaving so lame.

anyway, enjoy these images, got them when we shoot the movie, or just go to the blog instead, the link is also on this page...





stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:58 PM [comment]

***

Monday, April 18, 2005

another friend of mine lost one of his parent today, his parent. it was a big surprised, for me, and my friends. well, considering the condition of his father i would not be that surprised now. its just that the sense of losing some one close to you. to whome you share some even all of your blood fluid. the life probably just stops the moment you breath cause you realize that a life, someone who live for you and someone to whom you rooted your life has gone. its hard and i know how he feels.i dont know what else to say. the thought is coming back. i guess the day supports everything, the mood, the story, the day is dumb.a life was lost today,some tears are poured today, some laugh...a few one is shared today, some souls are tired and needed to take some rest, for eternity.i guess this post will be dedicated to my buddy rama.
dude, its time to think seriously about our life. no chance of goofing around, again.not much that i can do or say to you cause the life of men has been written on our palms. you, me, we got our own story, and sometimes that story collides on an intersection of life.dude, sorry i could not make it to visit you today. its not that i did it intentionally.but from my heart i sent one prayer for you and your family. be strong.i was like that, i was not that strong, but i manage to survive a bit. up to now.its sad to let go, but lets hope that where he is right now is the best place he will ever be.be strong.be strong.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:09 PM [comment]

***

Friday, April 15, 2005

Just like shounji, the present project also started on friday. i remember exactly that it was around 8 in the morning when we start shouting on shounji. well, this second movie started a bit late, rather quite...very late maybe. we started shooting around UGM.took the guts of the conversation out. just a small piece of it.but well, we started anyway. and i do feel a bit awkward with this second project. many things burdened my mind actually. i am really occupied by things.damn.tomorrow we will start early, around 7am.i will take the road scenes.sigh.honestly i was a bit uncoordinated today and let so many people wait.i hate to do that and thats just my weakness.i felt dumb to myself.felt sorry for some people cause they have to wait under the heat of the sun.
yeah, we have to delay the shooting on the train station cause the despossition letter was just too damn late.this is the birocracy and it tangled me.got to meet many people and eventually can do the shooting.while actually the shooting will take place on monday.i have too. and lucky me, everyone's agree. dont give up on me guys, we still have deadlines to catch okay?
anyway...paying debts are so in my dead lines too. too shy to tell this but i am telling you, i got debts and never that proud of it. sigh.
i took memes to dinner just now and i told her how things are occupying my mind.especially my UnderGraduateThesis.darn.when can i start to concentrate back on it. God please.education tangled me.
anyway, tonight...i miss ardi pite. damn it.got no free pass.i will catch you next time bro. well, i am still quite tired by the previous drum and bass.drum and bass is a wicked session i am telling you, especially with wicked people...abah, izal, wisnu, sandra, via, jue, doni, putri, shaggy dog...what a night. may be enough party for now, gotta catch so many dead lines.and just now i sent another episode of the sinetron.gotta make more money dude. gotta make my own living. does it sound cool?


...may be enough party for now, gotta catch so many dead lines

being a grown up is cool. cause u can watch porn without considering other people saying that you are pervert, well? have i missused the term. i mean, those so called normal people call those who watch too many porns pervert too.so why bother?
actually, last 2 days i was thinking that in this posting i would write why such a man like me still has no clear relation ship.well, so many people are questioning and i have to make reasons to spill the reasons why i am still alone.may be some of you wonder that too.sigh. when you are with some one they ask. when you are not with some one they ask.so why bother.
i'd rather have lunch tomorrow with my friends. betty invited me and bro to a fishing spot...seems nice for the weekend. but it means that not long after this i would say goodbye to another sweet girl...darn.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:32 PM [comment]

***

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Today is hot, like toasted and burning. strangely, the afternoon is colored with rain and cold weather, the breeze is just a perfect one for those who seek nice night sleep. i guess the season is changing. try to be a bit poetic, my life is changing too. i am on the age where everything should change dude, and i am freaked out. my mind is still occupied with endless play time.which is fun actually, but time comes when i should quit fooling around with my life.sigh. i guess i have been discussing this idea quite often, i am freaked out everyone. anyway, today i buzzed around jogja to have the first look of shooting location for unhappy birthday. our trip actually has not been finished cause i had more appointment on the afternoon. but if you really know who i am, i love being in the state of bussiness. thats how i feel alive, the state where i really know and i really feel that i am actually human.yeah.hehehe. some people call it workaholic. but i think being a work addict is cool.you will reduce the possibilities of doing negative stuffs, and all you can do is just being productive.get that kiddo?
last night i went to the happening kedai kopi, met bunch of young flashy gay guys as usual, well..that place is for everyone right? cause some friends meant to reject the coming of those same sex fond-er.met some old friends, giras, boim, and also that dashing PS. we shared some stories, cause its been like...dont know...but we missed so many stories. anyway, i went there with my tail-sandra, and memes. many topics, love, cheap sluts, and should memes stays in doubt for her present boy friend, or just stick on the path, and instead of burdening her hubby, i said she should support him the best way he can do.well, i could call myself a love psychologist. doctor love.well, what a crap i told her, i messed my own love life, should i be more proud.i guess my path of finding that so called true love is still a long one...and i bet when i have found her, i just could say nothing. i guess true love silences everything, cause it is so damn beautiful that your time is spent, all of it, just by appreciating it.hahaha.



...being a work addict is cool.you will reduce the possibilities of doing negative stuffs, and all you can do is just being productive
these are some images from my trip with sandra today, i would also like to introduce my side kick, my blue japan motor bike that takes me everywhere all this time.actually it belongs to my sis, but i am pretty much a mobile person and she's not. so i grab the steer and put all my love and affection to the idea of adventure with him.hehehe. these are the potential shooting locations for my next movie.i also made a blog for this movie, but i realized that it takes more of my time and money to maintain that blog. so just wait. but i promised to always up date it, blogging is fun anyway.
well,
its raining and cold out there, but i am still going to another drum and bass event located on malioboro with sandra. i think it will be so much fun, cause the last time i went to the drum and bass show, it was a whole load of fun.new buzz, my dear friend tatang will give birth to a baby boy. i miss her so much.damn.sigh.
see, my life is changing...a friend of mine will have her own baby, and i guess my turn wont be that long, i love babies, i love making babies...and whose not?

anyway, bald never dies!! bald head rules!!

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:17 PM [comment]

***

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tonight, i spent some quality times with a very close friend of mine whom i already consider as a brother.well, i think he deserves to be called that way. cause he missed my birthday gathering, i treat him bunch of coffees, and we drank like there is no tomorrow. kidding. we just drank coffee and spilled some details we have been missing for some times. he got sick,i got busy with my thoughts, jobs, and life. we didnt get to see each other and we fed up ourselves with the stories just some hours ago.i didnt know when it was exactly that we like to share stories. but that makes him one of my most important person. you know the kind of person who does not turn his or her back from you when the world goes nuts? well, he is just the kind of person i meant.anyway, i dont know either since when drinking coffee become a habbit for people in this city. but i am glad enough.years ago, the first time i stepped my feet on this very city i found enough amusements at day time, but not night times.people got a very threatening puzzle evertime the night comes, they dont know where to go, and now coffee shops are everywhere.a friend of mine call it 'happening.'well, that friend of mine started a some what boutique with a hidden coffee shop at the back.
anyway, if you notice carefully, coffee shop gathering, flocking, gossiping, or whatever that is has become a culture. i think its agreeable to say that going to the coffee shop in the afternoon is rather cheaper than going to the lame mall where you would see just...nothing important, unless you are going there to trade yourself.sorry. but i think everyone who is going to the mall are exposing their somehwta possession. so called pretty girls would go with their herds, which are members of lame youth who think that being seen and to see someone at the mall is so damn cool, you air head, go to the sea.for the boys, they would go with their herds too, the young establish socialite wannabe on the level of college age. well, malls are filled with lame kids anyway.i just dont get it.or may be its me who cant afford things in the mall.i desperately want to buy it but just no money jo se.well, the spirit of custom made aka local stuffs just within me dude.
anyway, going to the coffee shop is also contageous for this lame socialite wannabe kids.i mean, rich kids going everywhere with rich kids telling nothing but well..i dont know, but lame rich kids are such bratts who show up the level of richness which belongs to their parents.every time i go to my regular coffee shop i notice those kinds of people. excuse me, i am only an ordinary distinctive guy who has friends of regular level and most of the times these friends of mine are being swept away just by the look. equality please.this is the curse of the coffee shop. only some people can really become a regular visitor.sigh. everytime money walks, whereever it goes it brings together with it class classification and strata. which is sick enough. thats probably most of my friends dont mingle enough with the world. the world has already killed their desire of social path before they can even enter it. God helps these kind of people.
today i met some of my prospective casts. some very short briefing and more appointments tommorow. i just think that i am missing things here and there and tried to enlist what have i forgotten.my old crew, i mean the previous one are quite busy with their classes.i jsut dont have the heart to bug them more.i need to do it myself.
tomorrow i need to do some survey i guess. to the train station, to the roads and streets, to the red lights, to the small river under the bridge.

its 3.30am dude, and i am a bat.

...a friend of mine called it happening
but i am seeking more times to go to the coffee shop, i even decided to write a story based on this habbit. do you notice that FRIENDS series featured this kind of habbit too, and also SEX and THE CITY series also featured women who loved to chit chat in cafe with their close buddies.

so, viva la coffee.gag.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:46 AM [comment]

***

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Last year when i was busy with shounji project i also did many coverage on the project. i was thinking of checking back the postings i made those days.it must be quite funny to check things that we wrote in the past. and i guess i does not include mistakes. mistakes that we did in the past, possibly, will only come with regrets.in one side it contributes to our development as human, on the othr side it shows our foolishness and possibly also come with low tone of moods.i read the other day in one of my afternoon regular visit (did i construct the sentence right?), that it is useless to spill the sadness on bad past and decided to start a new beginning. instead of doing a new beginning, start the same past and create a different ending.its agreeable to me in the sense that what if doing the new start but we still end the same way when we did the same past? so better just take that same scrambled and tangled past but slowly and kindly untied the tangled lines and whatever tangled there until it is viewable as a long straight line of good achievement.sigh.
...it is useless to spill the sadness on bad past and decided to start a new beginning. instead of doing a new beginning, start the same past and create a different ending


unhappy birthday, possibly can be conclude into road movie. you know, one that makes you must see many roads and journeys, am i right? i think it is a road movie, cause the character there has the mission, and the mission is sort of accomplished in one way but on the other way its failed.just check it out, when we have finished doing it of course.gaghahaha.anyway, the shooting will be, and will be taking place about next week, and next week will be filled with rehearsal, readings, readings, and dont know the rest. i am an amateur movie maker, i did it the way i know it.God help me this time so that i can do it. i know i can do it.anyway, visit the web site for this movie here.
what else? well, usually i would be found easily in kedai kopi during this time of the week, but i guess my bod is tired enough to go there and stay there like until dawn. me and my brother used to talk like until the place closes.we used to have many things to spill, but lately we are running out of topics.what happens bro? have our life becoming that happy now? that nothing can be shared? ghehe..what am i doing right? we supposed to be happy when burden's are decreasing but i am asking about that now. past it! i am too tired last night when i shackled my bones cause the music was just too damn inviting to be ignored. its the kind that bomb your ass dude.like what i stated, usually, where there is a good music you can find me on the dance floor, very shining with my bald head, and my groovy move. follow me...here...there...dum dum. hahahahah.
weekend everyone, now i would be facing this saturday night alone, watching some movies, and sleep gracefully for sunday is coming and church is waiting.

yawn.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:02 PM [comment]

***

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Do i need a big event to write a post? should i tribute to someone? a friend made a post in his buletin, well, sometimes, when the person, is worth it to be tributed to.sigh. if a writer needs support and motivation to write, may be this time its mine.the moment when fresh idea just does not flow and runs that smooth in your mind.may be its not my time yet to tribute a post to someone, well...to be truth, my friend is not that, well, grandeur enough to be written here.sorry guys, but show me more love, or something, and i will write about you here. well, there is this friend of mine, to whom i owe the meaning of friendship.may be one day dude, i will write about you.
may be i would recap things? do people out there care enough? well, my life is not that big unless i am paris hilton.even her PDA means something to hacker. whats mine that becomes worthy for hacker to hack? well, some straight lines recap would inform some body out there about your life, right? so i would start it with narration. i love narration, it talks like those movies which started with narration. the use of the first person narration works good to release anger. haha.well narration helps you to find out the state you are in, and puts your life in a bit of subject comprehension.gorky.
intro..intro...i have been self provoked with the state of domination, for others.details,details, i have been working my ass to finish my lame Uthesis which drives me to the ultimate waiting and boredom. at the moment i am building my career as a not so so screen writer and mostly feeling the independent attitude of movie making, thanks to arya kusumadewa, related to that i am preparing my second movie which is about birthday, love, friendship, comic, humor, and adventure.my father has been tormenting my sleep with his demand of me finishing everything soon, and taking care of his lodging bussiness, i dont what that looks like, but my life-i guess-is for something else.what am i talking about?
...mostly feeling the independent attitude of movie making


later, that means tomorrow, i will come to the sound of embassy by Tjs. this is the second sound of embassy's i am visiting, hopefully i can come to more rave music in the future, just need to savor the joy of dancing and feeling each tiny tip of the dancefloor with my shoes.that sounds cool.me like visiting coffeeshops with friends to share any craps in me and their life, that sounds releaving anyway.
gosh. i am 23, and i am lame.yuck.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:53 PM [comment]

***

Sunday, April 03, 2005

this is the image of our late pope. may he rest in peace. may all blessed he shared with us this year drive us to peace, always. may God takes him beside His throne. may the smiles he shared with us through all his life set an awareness in our heart the needs and importance of peace.good bye father.



stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:44 PM [comment]

***

Saturday, April 02, 2005

this is the day everyone. possibly the historical day for me and my parents. in which, for my parents that would be the day when their second child who is later growing up to be a stubborn and big spendor materialistic and impulsive man (add kinky to that), and for me would be the comemorating day.for just being me. glad with what i am and how far i have improved myself. just like what i stated in my previous posting, its hard being 23. i dont know. i mean i havent doing it yet. this is the 1st day.and um...not many greetings come this far.some people,to whom i am quite closely related to, even have not sent any greetings up to now. i dont expect that much though. why do u think birthday should be special? like you should place yourself in some minutes where you would play all the past tapes of yourlife and acting like you are mature enough to reconcile with your life and pledging that 'ok, i will be good...i will be this, cause i am getting older...bla bla bla..." well thats fine with me.yet, its just nice being synical cause thats how people would be able to degrade the life.as for me, that would be a bit entertaining cause you would be able to laugh on something. laughing on the casual habbit of people when they have their birthday.people should invent a new alternative way to comemorate their birthday.like shooting someone? getting laid? getting wild...dont just sit light some candles and say prayers which are lame. for conservative that would do anyway. its their choice.then whats my choice(dont u guys realized that i am mumbbling all these lines?). my choice would be:
these are cliche lines...but some are not...for real:
mmm, adding my list of getting laid nights.gag.hahaha.
getting drunk,getting wild.i have too.i am 23 .come on.
getting serious with my job.enjoy it.
my U.thesis is the priority.come on...deal with it.
falling in love, again? dont know...loves sick, sucks,and serenades...(sigh)
loving my beloved people more, i dont know how to deal with life without them,
i guess the foremost would be,have a more encounter with my divine creator.
i trully miss u God.

post script:

just got back from hugGos cafe to celebrate my b-day and the sony ericsson S700i competition in cooperation with MTV sky jogja. tyo got the latest prototyope of the cell which makes everyone jealous bout it. well, whose not...its 4 million and something.sigh. i am wet, some stranger share me their jack daniels and 2 cups of tequila and what was it..mmm...cocktail of black russia...yes yes...happy birthday to me.

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:13 PM [comment]

***