Sunday, January 30, 2005
moi est occupé en apprêt est mon thésard, moi subitement matraquer falloir américain est industrie.à vrai dire, mon a admirateur culture le américain. en tout cas, tableau en récemment trouvé.quel est amusant.
image est la Maison blanche avec de Lord of The ring.
word reference
synical one
synical two
savourer!
*pardon my french
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:41 PM [comment]
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Saturday, January 29, 2005
mon list et amitié qui dure:
don't let me be the last to know
dont put pretty face on me while u stab me behind my back
i listen to you, i empathy you, can you do the same?
if that wont work we wont make it, trust me
chit chat in the coffeeshop
caring short message
tell me when you need me
ask me for help
we dont need to meet frequently, but tell me millions if we meet again
if u dont like me, tell me, dont let anyone tells me that you dont like me
how can you be so sweet at front while bitter inside?
whats the story we've been sharing this far?
whats the laugh all about?
it hurts just to know that what we have built this far was just shit
sorry then...
jour du mariage
aujourd'hui mon meilleur ami entraver une jules
elle est depart
seul moi être abandonné
elle est depart avec son mari
elle est courage soulever leur enfants
mon route est encore long
*pardon my french
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:35 PM [comment]
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005
its not always easy to have one stranger inside your house. not just inside your house, but deeper, into your selfish, egotistic, already to crowded with troubles life. what if it is not just one, but the whole bunch of famille in one big shot. someone you might never consider to be a part of your life years ago. people whom never really pass your thoughts. you never think about them and years before you are just strangers passing on the street.without never really saying 'hello.' someone who lived at the back of your house. a neighbor. people you dont actually know. these lines are such egotistical sentence. i am trying so hard to figure out my feelings, towards them. my psychiatrist said that it helps to defy what, and how do u actually feel towards the cause of your problem. they were problems for me.
i get used to my old life that its hard for me to take the idea that i am stepping, i was entering a new phase of life. a chapter of my life that i eventually had to close and putting most of it to the so called memories, inside an album,and only able to witness, to remember them by watching them. pictures which already old. old pictures where my childhood in a very faraway place was the only memoir of happiness i ever had.
i realize exactly that i have a link which is missing. a link which actually really helpful to determine who i am now. but up to now, i dont know what it was and where it had gone too. i am too tired to search for it, cause life has been calling me to follow him. i would be left behind if i keep looking for that blur piece. though its blur, i remember exactly that within that piece was the greatest love i ever have, hold, embrace. i am being too moody with my lines huh? but i guess i dont brag about my sadness cause i do know what i am missing in the corner. its an important piece.
as time goes by, after the loss i had years ago, my pages turn colorful, again. for three years or so my pages were dim and i can only see blurry color of ashes, white but not exactly white. i have to bring these people to my senses. accept them as what we know as family. they are my familie now. was it that bad when you loss someone that you really love. i never thought that i could lose someone. but i did.i loss my mom.
she's the missing piece i told you before. she's the piece with the greatest love. and i could only see herold pictures now. which makes me quite sad cause i only have a few of them.
now i have these people with me.with whom i have to share my thoughts. my life. the bond of blood. we came from the same root. we have the blood of our father running within our veins. they are some of the smiles within my life. hopefully tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow i can understand more, appreciate more of them to my life. let me introduce you to them.
the only boy on the picture, the most chubby ones is
abel.the little girl on the front posing like a model is
ella. and the smiling little girl at the back is my beloved
fanny.
abel.the apple of our hearts.
ella and
abel a year ago.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 5:59 PM [comment]
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Sunday, January 23, 2005
some light philosophists ever said that
you are what you wear. i guess that works for what shoes you are wearing too. since what you wear includes the sight from the top of your hair to the bottom of your toes. ever since i know that good stuffs might cost you a lot, i have been working my ass not only for my meet ends meat, but also a proper, confortable and fashionable shoes. darn the fashion world.
they demand you to look good all the time. okay, lets forget it. since the demand is actually coming from our consumptive state of mind. well, economic principal works here. the more money you make you tend to know expensive brands. premium stuffs. the so called stuffs, label, or brand, that will guarantee the thing called satisfaction. as a person, as a consumer, satisfaction needed. yet, there are no exact brands or label that can provide you such a deal when you wear them. the most comfortable shoes on earth might be the cheapest one you ever found. well, if the shoes expensive but you are not into it mind and soul whats the point then? i love chinese people who wear the badminton shoes wherever they go. it seems light and joyful. just like the wind. since its quite flat for my eyes. and i think it fits for kon fu stuffs too. thats why it so popular on the main land. just a thought anyway. and when you r dying for a comfort, its ur state of mind that forms it.
anyway, shoes are for feet. thats the only reason i bought my shoes. some of mine were bought by paw. they were quite expensive for me that eventually i begged him to zip his card. gag. well, lately i have been doing a stiffy job, which strangely is actually really enjoyable, and it gave me money for more shoes on the shelves.
each shoes of mine brought histories, and tiny bites of laugh with it.fortunately i can provide you with images. gag.
jack purcell by
converse. i reckoned that it was the only item left on the store, and i already fell for him, so i bought it. the size was minus a half for me, but i bought it anyway. the color was
off brown. i took it everywhere. i wear it like hell. i skate with it-i used to skate-and enevtually he had to say good bye completely from me. it is really worn out.
it's my legendary shoes. and he is my first converse ever.
i went to
adidas and bought this one. it was fred durst era. fool me. this stupid pair did not stay long. i dont know who held them now. someone stole it from me. darn it. i put outside of my room. nothing really strange that night. the first time in the morning after i woke up, its gone already.
i go back to
converse. again. this time i took the beach-cut. mine is
blue-ish with floral prints on it. i took to my previous holiday in prambanan and lombok. well, this one still's my best.
after the holiday is ending, i decided that floral blue prints are way too crowded for my khakis and street edge fashion way. i read a fashion book from Japan. and this one is always hot. mine is the
creme one. he still walks everywhere with me. up to now. one of my favorite.
this is
reebok running shoes for men. mine is white with
off white and
red stripes on it. one of my favorite too. feel so lose that you dont actually realize you are wearing it. am i too much with my words? haha.
converse one star. mine with
blue star and
red stripes. i met him in the studio. one of my guess was wearing him. this one look stunning when he's completely worn out. i seek for this adorable leather for years. and now its on my shelves. my most favorite.
my eyes are on...
gola harrier
gola aztec
gola cyclone
tiger onitsuka mexico edition-this one also appears in Kill Bill vol.1, the one Uma Thurman wears when she fights Lucy Liu. yeehaa!!
anyway, here are some of the shoes links for you, incase you would like to shop online, or just go to eBay instead. more shoes on my shelves...haha!
converse
gola UK
onitsuka tiger
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:35 PM [comment]
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
there is no point of argue-ing about your life. maybe there is. despite the issue of predetermined life. sureal fact called destiny. and your fist called faith. gee, i dont know how to start it. i just want to say that there is no point of feeling bad about your life. cause the worst you think about your life, you have not check around. there's much more unaccepted situation. a condition which you think is almost impossible and might only takes place inside a work of roman. i did realize her situation like years ago. but i never thought that it is much worse than it was years ago. she's a friend of mine.
she's one of the most talented among 200 students. and she might be the most unlucky ones. if you think that your life is unfair, and u think that you might be the jinx of life's elements and that your palm only says 'bad luck.' notice your surroundings. but i am also not saying that she's a bad luck. she's the one who feels that way. she feels bad about it. and to me she is distressed towards it. she told me that she's an unwanted child. since last year, to me, her life got worst. am i exagerating. let me tell u the things then. since her parents think that she's unwanted, they dont really care about her and her life. she's been living with her grand daddy ever since. she knows that her parents dont want her around. she told me that when her grand daddy died, yes he died last year, she was losing her protector. have u ever imagined not having the support from your parents as long as you live, not having the chance to love them and be loved by them. may be it sounds harsh but i really want to yell at her parents and telling them to look at this way, some one needs their attention. if you dont want her now, why you brought her here now. now that she's here you left her alone on the corner, figuring out how's she will walk the next day. i myself cant take this issue really hard. she can't spend the Christmas alone. she always needs to talk to someone.how could it be they ignore their pretty daughter. she's not just pretty. she's smart. witty. talented. any parents would want a daughter like her. God if only you could hear me. i want you to reach out her heart so that she's strong enough to walk through this phase. reach out her parents too. bring them back to her embrace. every kid needs parents. someone who can take care of their feeling. embrace their loneliness. putting down the fire of their life. giving guidance. financial stability. I met her yesterday and i went down to my thoughts thinking about her. if only there's something i could do. there was something i could do. she wished for a hug, and i gave her one. i believe that a hug can raise relieved feelings when ur down. i read it somewhere, and been practicing it all the time when i need a quick spiritual boost. for everyone, if u find her on ur way, u come across this curly pretty girl, give her a hug, she needs loads of it. i mean it.
at first i was going to tell you how's my life, how's my weekend-which is like usual-alone, and things. but my bite of crackers are no more sweet, i would like to talk about
rosemary.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:17 PM [comment]
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Thursday, January 20, 2005
some images i got from a friend on previous tsunami's casualties. this is a global disaster, and
lately the nature has warned us, probably this world will evolute really soon, and some form of life will vanish drastically,like us human. i watched on TV that Jakarta and some part of borneo, and eastern java swept by flood. those natural event took casualties though smaller in a mount compared to the tsunami,but no one would ever wish for another high tide waves sweeping our lives away won't we? i think it is now the time to really put attention on how we can make
a tolerant world for the natural environment's condition.we need to be more tolerant on our natural surroundings.
the possession of brain inside our heads really turned us into egotistic mean individual.
we cultivate the earth until the level of extinction and disaster. no wonder movies already portraying the idea when the earth is no longer proper place to breed human life. that sounds hard. so if we would like to live longer on earth, we should be more friendly and tolerant to it. this i believe. remember that only a few of us care about this issue, while the rest is still ignorant. help those ignorant people to start caring about their surroundings. stop exploitating.
no matter what happens,give yourself fully to God and be good, so that anytime your life taken by the Creator you will be ready,i strongly believe this one.
far away waves
its getting closer!
satelite images of the tsunami's
waves coming,and slowly entered the beach, washed away anything infront of it, watch a guy managed to survive by holding on a leave of a nearby coconut tree
big waves coming!!
notice the height of the wave, it's really huge
some people in this image might not make it to escape from the wave
the look of the wave from a passing by plane
some amateur videos on the tsunami
video 1
video 2
video 3
video 4
video 5
video 6
video 7
anyway, the images i put here are those which will put our attention to how was it look like when the wave suddenly stood strong 20meters from the ground and washed away anything infront of it. i dont put images with bodies, they are improper enough to be put here, very recommended for strong hearts. or you will faint.on the bottom i also put some video links for you guys to watch. its amazing. in the sense that i also feel the thrill of the waves.i am sorry if later on the links are no longer availabe since i guess it will gone soon. save the videos incase ur interested.
we were really swept away,weren't we?
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:31 PM [comment]
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
the invitation from my dearest friend has come.
Tatang will get marry next two weeks, and she've been busy preparing things for the once in a life time celebration of her life (we catholic believe in the so called till death do us part, since we are bonded into rule of no divorce, a marriage can only be separated by power that we human cannot deal with-which is death). whatever she has decided for her life, i am fully on her side, supporting her. i realized myself that its hard, and i dont know whether i will thrill myself like i did when cimot get married some times ago. suddenly i was histerical. i didnot know what actually happened. but i knew i was sad at that time. there was a bit of denial on that.the ultimate fact is of course their life will change completely after the holly promise.
i remember exactly how me and tatang used to be a powerful duo. we went to parties together. we shop together. we duke the night in the club together. we chat in random cafe's in this lovely jogja together. we went to Jaksa (jalinan akrab sastra; a welcoming gathering for freshmen in my department) together and hit the groove for freshmen. we always did it. we love to do it. i like it with her, we can share things and she has always been on my side when the world turns against me. she can put her mind still on me by not following the rest of the world turning against me. she's still there. and i am thankful for that. this is my best friend's wedding. ahh. she's going to leave all of us. all her proud friends.
rumors may evoke on her wedding. but human cant tell their life, can they? there's always a bit of twist in man's chapter of life. and whatever the rumors can be. i am still here dear bintang. u would always be the star of my heart dear friend, sister. shines. just shine for me. i will shine for you too.
i am crossing my fingers for your luck, always. hopefully this is the wedding of your life time. be happy, be proud of it. don't regret anything. if later on i cry on your big day, its a tears of happines for you, though a spark of sadness tangled within that laugh. but just a bit.
this is my best friend's wedding.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 6:38 PM [comment]
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Monday, January 17, 2005
breaking news, the golden globe winners have been announced. many said that the winners in gloden globe are predictions of winners for oscar.no one knows cause things change and taste differs. personaly i am cheerful to know that eventually natalie portman is aclaimed for her portrayal of a striptease dancer in closer. she will shine more next year.teri hatcher also won for her come back on screen in desperate housewives.her career might boost again. because after the hit success of lois and clark she was like vanished from TVs and cinemas. i read somewhere that after the show she lived with her single child and earning their living from dubbing voices for Tv commercials. quite pity for her. Hollywood is hard baby.
dicaprio also earned his first award ever after only being nominated in oscar in the 90s for his role in what's eating gilbert's grape. i did not watch it anyway.
well anyway, these are some shots from the glorious winning of some actresses and actors. view the complete list
here.dont forget to watch the show at
indosiar tonight.
clive owen won for
closer
teri hatcher won for
desperate housewives
leonardo dicaprio won for
the aviator
natalie portman won for
closer.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 1:13 PM [comment]
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Sunday, January 16, 2005
yesterday
budi told me that he is going to be here, in jogja, today. while i was imagining what we would have done by this hour-the three of us, with miss
beth-since we are the famous b three. gag. suddenly, he sent me a short message telling me that he passed the chance to go back here till today. darn it. nothing pretty much important though. just the thought that i should find my agenda today. i have told myself not to be dependant to friends. once, i was placing myself in a crowd. too tight that its hard for me to get out. they made me depend my night so much to them. i learned my mistakes. if that was a mistake. i guess the term that friendship has its high and low tides fits to what happened to me.friends come and gone. only a few really stay and really listen to what you say, and you dearly also want and need to listen to what they say.
well, budi told me that he wanted to share some stories. it was strange how we started this relation at the beginning. i was such a pain in the ass for him. until i eventually i quit bugging him. and both of us gone in our daily routines. until came the moment that we realized that we fit, we can actually talk things together. now we are close friends. and he is still my brother. may be he is the kind of friend that wont go away, for me. hopefully.
related to this,i just watched
mengejar matahari by
Rudi soedjarwo. friends come and gone but the memories spent with them never gone.
compared to
AADC-whats up with cinta i prefer chasing the sun (mengejar matahari.red). the premise is simple. the shots were great. and its dark. but somehow i felt like watching a dark hongkong wannabe flick. i supposed, rudi soedjarwo really influenced by wong kar wai or at least tsui hark. the pictures were somewhat made to be dark and dim, and on the corner of each shot they dont really explore the light. let it dim. and it was so hongkong. the set took the image of hongkong evenmore. there is a slum area in hongkong where small and cheap apartments stand together side by side creating a limited air situation where beggars, triad, and other sort of criminals flocked. anyway, no jumping pictures or missing stories in this one compared to AADC. the ending was losing some of the thrill given by a very nice beginning and a good body structure of the story. i just thought that other caharacters beside ardi (played by winky wiryawan) should be explored bit deeper.cause the death of obet and the captured of danar really hung on the edge of confusion for me. Rudi soedjarwo must put more parts for these guys. anyway,
fadli baadilah who played danar really captivated me. i think i must write a character especially made for him later on. yeah. an action one. what do you think. and
ade habibie would do good as another hunk in my movie. gag. yeah,i think that would be cool.
among the movies i rented, i also managed to watch ocean's twelve.which apparantly hasn't finished. i told myself to watch each movie my foster father starred in. that's
george clooney. gag. i wonder how it feels to have a father like him. and how itb feels to have a playboy father. looking good on his age. and how it feels to be his son. will i inherit his greece hair cut and look and his playboy habbit. fruits alwats fall next to the bottom of its root. hahahahhaha. what an imagination. i know thats impossible.a surprising fact is that my dad wont ever marrie and have children. i read that he was sort of dissapointed by one previous relationship that he thought women and kids will only bother his free state of mind. poor women. one surprising fact-again-he's one from two famous men ever appeared on the cover of
vogue. vogue never put a man as its cover. but my father made it. haha.
and i was imagining one day of clooney get married to the most prettiest singer i ever adore.
shania twain.
how would their kids look like? can anyone tell me? anyway, i just watch my mom's latest video called don't. taken from her latest album, her collections of her best singles with couples of new songs and remixes. i wonder how she always able to write a very good hook and tunes in her songs. she's on the top of successfull concerts of all time. her concerts always sold out. her records sit on the fifth peak from ten most successful records of all time.sigh. she's just damn pretty.
anyway, i came back from the mall and bought some candles, dried wooden sticks and glass jar to decorate my white room. i am so excited. i guess i would buy a fish for my room. i've always wanted a fish in my sight.lets see what happen tomorow.
i get to register myself for the new semester.
sigh.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 10:26 PM [comment]
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Saturday, January 15, 2005
Bob is the first person, to whom i have affection, i met today. he does not know me. may be he does. we met each other ocassionally. but we never talk. cute is relative, and for me he's chubby (whats the point then?). the thing is, i just got back from a very hectic holiday, if thats what holiday was. many obligations due next week. and on april i gotta finish everything in this city, get my ass back to Jakarta. urghhh. they call it the new year resolution. what so ever. anyway, holiday brought me several thoughts. that going to the
dentist really cost u a lot. they put u into their appointments. they pulled so many of your teeth without any clear reasons why those teeth need to be pulled out. well, i realized though that my teeth are bad ones. the doctor cleaned the plak (is that right?). and put some, what they call it, additional layers to my fractured teeth. its cleaner than before. the whole braddy went to the dentist. and some younger fam of mine cried. no wonder dentist always scared little kids. well, dad told one of my siblings to become a doctor one day. so that u'll get richer quick and can drain people's money. gag.
hey, the big fight i was really worried about never really takes place. instead we talked egotistically. we didnt really talk. my father was not such a father who really talks with his kids. he's telling you waht to do and he thinks you can make it the way he did. and i found out that, without my recognition, that he already built somewhat a company, to which he wanted me to take care of it. knock knock.a predetestined future. but i somewhat like the idea. me holding a company. that means i can still write scripts. but i dont know. i dont think i belong to companies. i mean those regulating stuffs. they are just not my thing. a manager who is also a screenwriter. how's that sounds to you?
well, Aceh is still in destruction. many people go there to help the need. the medias called this situation somewhat ' weeping Indonesia'...'mourning nation'...i dont know the situations there, i suppose its very terrible. i have a little calling in my heart to help them. but i couldn't. i dont have the capabilities which needed to help those people.
i just wish things get better and safer for everyone in Aceh. cause honestly, Indonesia is really a hell now. and i think its enough to weep. this nation really needs to gets up on his ass and do something. lets recover.
anyway, my usual burjo is now open and gets bigger than before. its one of the place where i used to escape my solitude. at least i can meet and talk to someone i know. Jogja is still calm i guess. i found out that many students are going home for the semester break. or at least the new year's holiday for some private college-like mine.
well, the day after tomorrow the new semester will be started. and i will spend the next 4 months to finish my study. pray for me everyone. the study has been expensive enough for my parents. and i dont want to be described as one who does not appreciate education by slowing my phase in learning on the bachelor degree. cause education IS expensive and many people out there are not lucky enough to get the chance to study and live the life like i do.
i need to appreciate and responsible more with my life.
i guess thats my resolution.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 7:28 PM [comment]
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