its been nine years...like a glimpse of these eyes...you are so far, and always that far...i cannot touch you, like what i used to do...before that nine years. its been nights, and years, and tears...i learn to live without...to forget, standing strong. it was dawn, the hardest day of my life...the moment of letting go, you...that i really love so much- the one that i missbehaved, the one that i hurt most of my times, most of ur life, and the ending is this hurting feeling inside cause i cannot let you see what i have been doing, what i have become. this love always be blessed with your presence...i know you are here, somewhere...i cannot touch you, but i know you are here. and i know i dont have to touch you just to know that u will always be there. its been nine years, how's life there...hopefully its been nice to you. i know that it must be hard for you to leave me, us...and it was so hard for me to accept the idea that there's always a plan. but i didnt accept that mine was letting you go. i think i already had enough tears to shed...i miss you so much. these nine years were...blessed. but i still wonder how it feels to have u by our side. telling you all my ups and downs. cause i never tell anything so deep to anyone, and it would be hard to do so... mom...its been so hard living this life without you. i keep asking anything about this, and i know that the question faces no end. once i wanted to stop and let anything pass me by. but i wonder how the future looks like for me, for this family. i had to accept some harsh truth, surprising people...which i could not handle easily...and then i remember you mom. i know that u cannot read this, but i just want to write it...let the wind tells you how much i miss you...let the earth shouts your name within the night cold breeze and let the dawn whispers my never ending love to your angelic soul in heaven. mom, its been nine years since you left...i miss you.
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 2:59 AM [comment]
