they said that i am in the middle of a journey to find my God. and that i must not set th divine power apart in my daily chorus. have i ever set him apart? have i forgoten to ask for the guidance, protection. have i been so selfish with my life that i forgot the divine power and let my life be ruled by another power so selfishly turning myself into someone who is not happy? have all my emptiness caused by my selfish deed of my life. have i been so provoked by my passion, life's enema, material frenzy, that i forget the real deal i should be reaching to? have all my unhappiness were the outcome of my foolishness, selfishness.

they said that its good for me to know what actually happens inside of me. yet, does it really help? since i can only witness and feel it. its the missing link Darwin never found. its the top that babel never reached. its my earth that will never ever have snow. its the last puzzle you will never found. i know what happens inside of me. i know that it drains me. bit by bit. i am so restless. its the moon that turns blue. and the sky turns velvet.

if everyone might notice a reddish noon, then i would be very aware that i see crimson paints it...my life is restless. and i am in the middle of that journey. they said it. and i am occupied by it. its a chapter, there are pages.and on which page am I.