Friday, February 11, 2005
people wonder how they future would be look like, well...i do too. but i dont like to predict the future. i love to let it be a secret. just do what you have in front of you. dont make up things too hard. but also dont pretend that life is that easy. it is hard baby. i know its hard. if i hadnt been that strong i already hang myself years ago. but the mysterious future keep calling me to open its door each day. so here i am.
anyway, not trying to be bragging or boasting but there are some people out there who are glad enough and supportive enough knowing the stuffs i am doing now.they told me to be productive and be someone in the future to reconstruct the flaw that this nation have in the industry. well, i dont feel that i am that big already but the idea that i will be able to create changes challenges me. this is my wonder in the future. can i do it? cause many people put their hopes on my back. they think that what i am doing is such a cool job. but honestly, it does not make enough for my living expenses. i need something regular and put this cool job ever (a friend of mine said that doing this thing is the best thing in the world, many people dreamed of having such job) aside as my side job.i need a regular job that makes me able to fit myself with the writing things, thats it. cause i do realize when i have a project then i would take much of my time.i will be gone like weeks, even months, and if i am doing things like Lord of the Rings then i would be leaving for years and when i am back my beard would be long enough to sweep the floor.naa...kidding.
well, i guess people are always in this phase. i was wondering what would i be in the future, some clues have already being presented by life itself and i have met them on my way, and now i am doing it, but i wonder-again-will it be the one, the ultimate creativity of my life time and eventually people will know me to be one of those people. i dont want to be stiff and satisfied already with what i am doing. for me there are doors of creativity that i need to explore, to feel, to live with, to experience.
because everything has its flaw lines then people have to anticipate this flaw by doing other things, and when the other things also brings its flaw to one's life then there will be several more alternatives to hinder it. gee.
life like Carrie Bradshaw is a un sueño hecho realidad. people would want to live like her. living in the middle of NYC, notably in one luxurious apartment in down town Manhattan, when the day comes then it comes to gossip times with your partner in crime, when night comes then lets decide to hit the floor, or flirt a hunk somewhere on the corner, no matter how old he can be, when the night is so late, two choices: spend the night alone, fuck someone. case closed. or the third one: write it down. escape your stuttering mind through writing taht will make you infamous in weeks cause your writing also appears at Vogue. when the weekend comes, well...go to some painting exhibition, may be there you'll find another hunk to spend the night with, or may be he would paint you naked, and if you are lucky then he will be the one. the right one.
ahh...it is so hard being carry bradshaw. and its getting harder cause she loves shopping and mahnolo blahnik. give me a break.i am living in a third world country, notably in a country which sets it corruption level on the 3rd position from the top.
i got to break the flaw.
a tiny bit of plan, with another plan to retrieve the flaw.
see, the future is still mysterious now. one question: during the attempt you make to kill the flaw, can u still be able to hangout with your buddies just for a cup of coffee in you fave starbucks? thats a question about the future.
i would be so much afraid to know that i will lose my quality times with friends and having no more chance to sip my fave frappucino cause i am so damn busy.
question your future...
stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 9:11 PM [comment]
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