Monday, May 09, 2005

good looking and bad looking (and some notes of today)


just now,i went to a book store. alone. most of the times i just cant go alone. i cant bare the loneliness and the thought of wondering places on my own. i am not the guy who likes to be alone. but this time i tried to beat my loneliness, well somehow there are moments when you just have to be alone and share your times with your own sanity and thinking about stuffs that you have done.aightt? so whats the deal with the title?
okay, i walked to the highest floor on the building and browsing the books, who knows that i might drop my sight to the kind of books that i like and i have the desire to have it. FYI, i just bought mrs.dalloway by virginia woolf and da vinci code by dan brown last week (the time when dad came and he went to a book store to buy some books, so i decided to add his bills with those books.hahaha).
so there was me, on the top floor. looking around.i walk here and there for couple of minutes, observing some fresh edition of my fave mags (but did not have the intention of buying it). as usual, i could not stand some kind of music that made me shiver to move (suddenly i caught the sound of Justin's like i love you) so there was me, again, shaking my butt to the rythm of that song. i guess some people out there, near by me, must have veen entertained by my private dance show. okay, back to the title.
suddenly, i passed my sight on this person. the person's name is disguised to be A.A is cute. really cute. my heart says something to see A. A is in my list of loveable person (you know, the kind of person that i want to love and be loved in return). A has everything. A would pass all my need from a person.A was so cool standing on A's own. and i looked at A from a far. sigh. i just rub my chest to know that i cannot have A. my mind just wondering around with the thought of having A.on my own.
then suddenly my eyes caught a sight of B.i met B just some of the times. but B is quite, you know...everywhere.B is also my type. but A was a bit stocky. there you go. and B was...tall but skinny. but B got the look. got the eyes and got the smile, got the chin.yumm.hhahahaha.
the title, why there should be the standard that says A and B are the type of cute persons? cute is when someone has the right bones? right eyes? proportionate body parts? the right skin? what else is right on them? why when I saw them i suddenly labeled them CUTE. whats cute all about? whats cute actually? and why these cute people most of the times have the bigger potentials from the so called ugly people to be on the hot spots. you know, good jobs, big paid.
whats God to do by creating and putting the standardized CUTEness to our awareness.in our dictionary of minds? do some people out there really care about cute and ugly people. and most of the times, in love, cute people are so unfair. they choose the so called cute people also to be in love with. and they justify that ugly people cant have them. then, cute people are only for cute poeple. and ugly people can only watch good looking people together.
there are this couple. i noticed them some of the times.frankly speaking, using the standardized cuteness...they are not the kind of good looking people. (see i am already using this term, i am so aware of the term that i am being unfair and suddenly i used it on them.sorry). but they are, everytime i see them, so in love. i could see that they need each other. they happy for each other. and it seems to me that each of them wont find the new one to be in love with. voila...this is a new thought.
ugly people realize that they have a small chance to be in love due to their well...not so good looking feature.so when they grab one they wont let it go and treat the one they already got as the possessions, well...for the rest of their life. you know, the thought that they cant always be in love.and they are lucky enough now to be in love thought.
while the so called good looking people...they know they have bigger chance in love, they can love the not so good looking people and the so called good looking people too. they have bigger choices and alternatives, cause they are good looking. so they tend to be pragmatic in relationship. they tend to easily let go their partner, any time. dump one and get another one. that easy.
not so good looking people, like me, cant do that. pity on us. what should not so good looking people do to struggle for love? cause in the end only not so cute people will also fall for not so cute people. cute people only belong to cute people.hehe.bitter huh.
why i write this?
this is just my stream of consciousness. my father said that there are ugly people and good looking people cause there are good and bad, and they complete each other. world wont stand in balance if there are only good looking people around. good looking equals to perfection, and when perfection is all around it would be probably boring. so some mistakes are needed to put new colors into perception.
i think, logic is useless when you think about these terms: cute and not so cute.i mean,i wonder who put the term in use for the first time.
should one pity themselves cause they dont have the look? many people would commit suicide if so. my stream of consciusness told me that the world's condition has been so justified with many terms in practice which are so unfair. but again, unfair completes the term fair.


today?
me and khrist decided to launch our movies together.next friday, the 20th of may 2005. about 6pm.we wrote this letter to be given to the department tomorrow.
khrist is a problematic person, for me, too.well...this far,i can tolerate...

stanley dirgapradja@petit garcon 8:21 PM [comment]

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