in the past few years i have been sick for several times. i have lived for almost 24 years and like any other normal people i fell sick. and this fall, like Lisa a friend of mine of maaaany years from junior high, i fell sick again. of a same sick again. this same illness knocked me down successfully and turned me lame and slow. like a snail. yet, do snail suffer from cold? yes dear, i got a terrible cold for 4 days.

Lisa got her cold because she could not bare the weather. i got sick cause a)well, i suppose the weather is changing somewhere in the city and the wind is cold, but i was not that weak speaking of the wind. when i was that fresh i took my motorcycle buzzing the city and socializing myself. enjoying my time as a fresh graduate bachelor of letters. a fresh label that hangs me in the middle of doubt. where should i step my feet. the education stuffs has finished. i am on my own. i have to set my own path. darn. b) i bought this silly mentol light cigarette. i burn and smoke some of them after i buzzed the city with my bike. i drank one cold cholocate and read some mags. i thought my body could not stand the shock. c)after those 2 i came home and immediately took my bath so that i can prepare myself for another night-wondering with some friends. darn. after the bath i felt different. i thought i was going to be sick.

and i fell sick. it took days for me to recover. the worst part was i usually do not feel such dizzinnes. but now i felt it. it was terrible. one hard step made by my feet would shake my head. everytime i passed the road bumps the same thing would happen.

everyone told me to take a bed rest. i just could not. the boarding house is all empty. everyone is going home for the hari raya lebaran. i wont stay there and (possibly) die on my own. i need to see people, even when i am sick. and there was I. i visited ndute's place and watched TV as usual. that went for 2 days and i still feel terrible. usually with just bottles of mineral water and some fruit i would survive and feel fresh immediately. anyway, that B would help me too. but this B****x did not quite help me now. so i turned my eyes to much more stronger medicine. the kind of medicine that made me scared when i saw the wrapper. the indication. the ingridients. and the contraindication. i wont take those pills, i said to myself. i dont need medicine that made me sleepless, palpitate, or having diarea. Jesus.

but then, one night-when i thought i just could not stand it, i took one of those dangerous medicine. i thought that i would turn to sleep immediately. but apparently not. i turned asleep cause i read the same lame magazine that i have. its my sleeping teraphy.

the next morning i woke up. i did not feel anything, beside a strange cram in my stomache and a weird feeling growing inside. darn, that was the contraindication. that medicine did not work dude. i still feel warm inside and outside. and that lame headache still remain. i wont take that dangerous medicines anymore.

eventually i was cured by... i did not know what did i take that i feel okay now. on sunday nights i just sweating all around in my sleep. i changed clothes twice. and the next morning i feel strangely okay. and i took my first bath in 3 days. disgusting. but thats true.

its weird that this cold always the sickness that easily beats me down everytime. in 2002, i suffer a terrible fever, and odd symptomps of body weakening. i did not quite remember, but i remember that it started with the same fever. i thought that i was going to die, cause it happened for a month or so. i was lame when i sick. i simply could not do things. well, afre there anyone that can do hard things when they're sick. i am strange.

but thats it. i need to discover WHY fever is my fear factor. for those who feel the same raise your ass!